39. Hustle Culture Series Episode 4: Do THIS to Stop the Hustle!

Join me as I continue digging into "hustle culture" that is so prevalent among SLPs, moms, and business owners. In today's episode, I'm sharing a tool I use with my clients to determine their priorities and help them spend their time with intention. I'll walk you through what the tool is and how to begin using it today so you have the time you need for what matters most.

Want more resources like this one? Then be sure to register for my free webinar, Mindful Time Management for the SLP, on Thursday, March 28th at 7 PM Eastern. (Note: this event was previously scheduled for March 21st but was moved due to a scheduling conflict.) All who register will be entered to win a free coaching session. And yes, a recording will be available!

In This Episode:

• Download your FREE Values and Needs Resource here!
• Register for the FREE webinar, Mindful Time Management for the SLP  at 7 PM Eastern on March 28th, 2024 (replay available for all who register)

Are you sick and tired of feeling overwhelmed by all the things? I can help. Schedule a free consult today.

Come join the SLP Support Group on Facebook for more tips and tricks!

Follow me on Instagram! @theresamharp

Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

This is your speech path mindful time management for the busy SLP. My name is Teresa Harp and, as a mom and speech pathologist turned productivity coach, I know a thing or two about how hectic life can be. If you're an SLP who's overworked, burnout and feeling like you're constantly falling short as a therapist and a mom, then this is the podcast for you. I cover time management and mindset strategies so you can learn to love your work and your home life at the same time. Let's dive in. Hey SLPs, welcome back to the podcast. I am recording episode four of the Hustle Culture series, so we're going to be diving in in just a minute, but before I do that, a couple of quick announcements that I wanted to make sure that you are all aware of. We, at the time of when this episode will be released, we will have just completed our first free co-working session, which is a session that is a resource that's available to those of you that are members of the SLP support group, where you've got access to a group Zoom, where we're basically working independently but side by side virtually, and it is a great strategy, very much like what you probably have heard of called body doubling, and it's very effective in helping individuals who are neurodivergent with getting focused work complete. So if you're not in the Facebook group, make sure that you join so that you're up to speed on when we will be hosting more co-working sessions like this. And the other announcement that I wanted to make is actually a change, a date change. So if you've listened to last week's episode, you might have heard me mention a free webinar that was scheduled for Thursday, march 21st, 2024 at 7pm Eastern. There was a scheduling issue and so I've changed the date to the following Thursday March 28th, at the same time, 7pm Eastern. And that is a free webinar that is available to members of the Facebook group and we're going to be diving into mindful time management for busy SLPs. So definitely make sure you're in the group. There is also a link in the show notes if you would like to join and register for that Zoom. So make sure you get in there. But if you're listening to this after that webinar has occurred, then just make sure you join the Facebook group, because there will be lots of other events going on and you don't want to miss out on those.

Speaker 1: 2:58

All right, so now that we've got that out of the way, I want to talk about something called I'm going to call it intentional living, and this is very much relevant to the series that we've been focusing on here over the past several weeks, which is hustle culture and how that shows up for speech pathologists and related professionals. Okay, now, if this is you, I want you to listen very carefully to this episode. So if you are somebody who finds yourself rushing around constantly, you know, hurry, hurry, hustle, hustle, hustle I need to get everything done, with very little attention being paid to the actual tasks that you're completing, you know, such as why you're doing them, what is the intention behind the task Not necessarily that you're distracted while you're completing the task, although that might be the case for many of you. This is more about your, I would say, your awareness of the relevance of the tasks themselves. So if you're rushing around and constantly, you know, ticking items off of your to do list, but you haven't given a whole lot of thought to what those items are on your list, then you need to listen to this episode, because this is something that I see happen so often with the clients who I coach, and it's something that I myself struggle with and have to work very actively on.

Speaker 1: 4:46

Where we're busy, you know, filling up our lists, filling out the notepads, and just sort of be bopping from one thing to the next without really knowing what the value is of the tasks that we're completing, right? Are those tasks, are those activities the things that you're spending your time on? Are they moving you closer to your goals? Do you even know what your goals are? How do you know those things are moving the needle right? And then another question that this raises is how do you prioritize? That's a question I get a lot. So, whether you feel confident in the importance and value of the items on your list or not, you're still likely struggling with how to prioritize those items.

Speaker 1: 5:43

So at the end of today's episode, I want you to have a better awareness of number one are the items that I'm spending my time on? Are the activities that I'm spending my time on worth it? Which of these things can I eliminate? Which of these things are not necessary or important? Right? And then the other piece of this that I want you to walk away with is, once you have what you believe to be a pretty I don't know a pretty on-target let's say intentional plan for how you're spending your time, I want you to walk away with a better understanding of how to prioritize those things.

Speaker 1: 6:26

Okay, so that's what we're going to be talking about today, and if you've ever struggled with either of these things number one, questioning the, the value of the things that you're doing, and number two, how to prioritize the things that you're doing I'm going to tell you exactly how I do this. Okay, and the answer is through identifying core values and needs. Okay, so there is a link in the show notes to download this free resource that you can do right alongside as you're listening to this podcast episode, or if you're listening while you're driving or cleaning or running or whatever it is that you're doing right now. Bookmark this episode and make sure that you go back when you are able to safely and download the values and needs exercise. It's a free resource and it pairs very nicely to what we're talking about in today's episode. Okay, so that you can actually do this for yourself. Don't just listen and take it in actually execute, take action on this information.

Speaker 1: 7:39

Okay, so, for those clients who I've worked with when we have spent time on core values and needs and I essentially do this at this point with all of the clients I work with to some capacity. But I didn't do this in the very beginning because I didn't know. I didn't know the importance and the value of doing this. No pun intended, but for those that I do the exercise with now, the feedback that they give me is incredible. They say things like it was so helpful and this exercise gave me really good insight on what I've been neglecting. Someone else commented that they were shocked that was her word shocked at how exercises like this can help. So this is a very simple, relatively easy, straightforward exercise that you can do that will give you incredible insight as far as what you're spending your time on and whether or not it is a valid use of your time. Okay, so what you're going to do is identify both your values and your needs. Okay, and the PDF that you'll download will walk you through exactly how to do this. But I'm going to give you a brief overview through this episode, and then we'll talk about why this matters and how you can use the information that you glean from this exercise to support you with spending your time.

Speaker 1: 9:22

Okay, so when we're talking about core values, we're talking about, essentially, principles or morals. These are the inherent beliefs that are deep in your core, that matter to you. Okay, they're essentially guiding principles for what you believe is most important. Quote unquote, right or wrong, and these are the things that essentially represent you as a person and your belief system, your morals. Okay, they're inherent. These aren't values, are not necessarily things that are going to change frequently, but I will say that it is incredibly important to revisit this exercise with time, because they will shift slightly right Over time, especially depending upon what season you are in in your life and how old you are and what's going on. Your values will change slightly. It's possible that they would change drastically, but most often, what I have seen is that there are general values that clients hold near and dear and those just might shift subtly with time.

Speaker 1: 10:58

Okay, now, when it comes to values and time management, I think this is the piece that people get a little bit confused about, because there's, they might say, or they often say to me well, yeah, these things are important to me, but how is this going to impact the way I spend my time? And my answer to that is well, look at how you're spending your time and tell me if these five values are what are most important to you. These are the five values, the five beliefs, belief systems that are inherent to you as a person. And then we look at what is on your calendar and when there is a disconnect, when you compare the two and you see a disconnect between your core values and the things that you're spending your time on, that right there is causing what I would call cognitive dissonance or even just simply tension in the way that you feel and show up day in, day out, because there's a huge shift, a huge distance between the values that are in your core right and the things that you're doing, the things that you're spending your time on, and that, likely, likely, is one of the biggest reasons why you are struggling with time management, because you're busy rushing around working on things that do not matter to you, that are not important to who you are as a person.

Speaker 1: 12:49

Okay, so what I want you to do when you are going to sit down and look at this, to identify what your values are, you will find a list of values, and I want to preface this with saying that the list that you see in the free resource is not comprehensive. It's not a complete list. That would be impossible. It is a starting point and, for most people, the starting point is all that you need, okay, but I just always like to put that out there that do not think that all of the eval, all of the possible values that you could have as a human, are here in this resource, okay, so take a look at that list and what you're gonna do first is just note or annotate or write down any of the words that stand out to you as you're reading them, any values that sort of catch your attention and resonate with you. You're not filtering, you're not judging, you're not anything You're not editing. You're just marking the ones that stand out Then, and it does not matter how many you have okay, you can note as many as you want. These are not the. The ones that you start out with initially are not the ones that you're going to. You're not gonna wind up with all of those at the end, so don't worry about how many you have at this point. Okay, we will fine tune this and edit it down to a final list of four or five.

Speaker 1: 14:24

Okay, so once you annotate the values that resonate with you, what you're going to do then is categorize them. Okay, you're gonna organize them into different groups, whatever groups that you believe are similar. Okay. So if you selected, say, fun, humor, service, dedication and integrity, you might categorize fun and humor into one group and then you might categorize the others. I forget what I said dedication, service, commitment those might be another category. Okay, and there's no right or wrong way to do this. It's however makes sense to you. So don't worry about whether you're doing it right or doing it wrong. It's whatever makes sense to you. Do not overthink this.

Speaker 1: 15:20

Okay, you should have at the end of this, because you're going to go through all of the ones that you annotated and you're going to start organizing them loosely into groups. You should have between three and five groups at the end of that step, and then what you're going to do is look at those groups and within each group, you're going to choose the value that resonates the most with you. Or you could look at all of them and ask yourself, okay, which out of all of these values, all of these words in this box, which one is, in my opinion, encompasses all of the rest which one is sort of the umbrella term. Okay, and then that could be the value that you select. So it's either going to be the one that's the most inclusive and descriptive of the rest of the values, or it's going to be the one that you resonate with the most. It doesn't matter, don't overthink it, just pick one and that is your core value.

Speaker 1: 16:24

You're going to do that for each group that you made, so roughly three to five core values at the end of that exercise and then, once you have those core values, I want you to really reflect on them and ask yourself did any of these surprise you Did any of them make you rethink how you're spending your time right now? And I want you to get even more specific and look at the things that you do spend your time on. Walk yourself through a typical day or a typical week and ask yourself how many of the things on my calendar are represented by, or are in alignment with, these core values. Because I would venture a guess, like I said earlier, that you are we are we all do it Filling our calendars with activities and tasks that are not in alignment with our own core values, and the result of that is that we get burnt out, we feel resentful, we feel unfulfilled, we feel depleted, we feel ineffective, because the things that we're spending our time on, quite frankly, don't matter Not all of the things, but many of the things they don't matter and when you get on board with the idea that time is your most valuable resource, it will cause you to look very closely at how you're spending it and to recognize that many of the things that we are doing are not useful activities. They're not necessary activities, they're not important activities, they're not things that are representative of our core values, and that doesn't. That is not to say that every single thing you do needs to be related to a core value. That's not what I'm implying, but what I am saying is that I guarantee you there are things on your calendar that don't align with those core values, and there are things that you don't have to do. There are things that you have the authority to decide differently, to make a different decision about whether or not you're going to do them. Alright, so those are core values. Now we're going to do the same thing, but we're going to do it for our core needs.

Speaker 1: 19:00

I love doing this exercise for so many reasons, but how many of you, when it comes to core needs, how many of you have ever stopped and thought about what are my needs? What are the things that are absolutely essential to my functioning as a human Right. And so many of us as moms, so many of us as SLPs think that we don't even have the luxury of identifying our core needs. But I hate to break it to you, but you are the only person who can meet your core needs. If you're not meeting your needs, you can't expect anyone else to. It is your responsibility. So I don't know who needs to hear that, but there it is a little tough love, right. So we went over values. Those are really your principles.

Speaker 1: 20:00

Needs are the things that are essential to helping you function at your best, and when these things are missing, when you don't have them, when these needs go unmet, you feel depleted, you feel exhausted, you feel unsettled or uncomfortable. Okay, and I'm not saying that you need to have, you need to have your needs met all the time. That's not what I'm saying. But what I am suggesting is that most of us have core needs. That number one we don't even realize because we've never stopped to assess this, and number two, that we are not prioritizing and the result is that we stay in this place of hustle, this place of stress and overwhelm because of these unmet needs.

Speaker 1: 20:54

So that changes today, because what you're gonna do is you're going to look at the overview of the core needs that you will find on in the PDF that you've downloaded. That you've downloaded, and you're gonna do exactly what we did for the values. So you're gonna annotate, notate whatever word fits for you, right down whatever needs stand out to you. So these might be things like movement or exercise, humor, outdoors or fresh air, community comfort, happiness, purpose, right, patience. They're all things that sound really positive and you might be listening to those and thinking, oh yeah, I need all of those. Well, once you sit and look at this list, I really want you to note the ones that you feel personally drawn towards and don't worry about how many you have at the beginning because, like I said, like with the last exercise you're going to, we're gonna pair these down into a smaller list, okay. So then, once you have those groups or once you have those words, then you're going to group them, just like we did for values. So you might combine, let's say, movement, nutrition and outdoors. Let's say you wrote all three of those down. They might go in one group. And then let's say you wrote down honesty, authenticity and reliability and you might put those down in another group. Okay, and again, there's no right or wrong way to do this, it's whatever resonates works for you. So, once you've got your groups right, you're starting to sort of structure them into those groups and then you're going to either choose the one word that stands out the most to you or the one word that you feel encompasses all the rest, and those are your core needs.

Speaker 1: 23:03

Now, just like with values, your needs can change over time. I would argue. I'm trying to stop saying that anyway. Not, I would argue, but I would offer that your needs probably change more often, more frequently than your values, although that might not be the case for everyone. But my point is that both of these values and needs can change over time and it's really important to do this. I like to do it at least once a year. I think the end of the year is, I'm sort of planning the year ahead. That's a fun time for me to do it, but at least once a year is what I have found to be the best sort of timing for me to do this.

Speaker 1: 23:52

Others, you might find that you're not having, you don't have as many major changes in your life and things are kind of pretty stable, so you might not need to do it that often, or you might need to do it more. It's whatever works for you. But don't choose these or identify these values and these needs and think that these are your be all and all answers forever, and don't worry about getting it right on the first try. So at the end of this exercise, when you have your core values and needs, it's OK if once you start sort of putting them into play, so to speak, then you maybe realize, oh, I thought this was a need of mine, but it's actually not. I like it, but it's not something I need, and so you can go back and you can modify. That's fine too.

Speaker 1: 24:44

But I want you to look at those core needs and then look at your time, look at your average day or your average week and ask yourself when and where am I meeting my own needs? How am I meeting my needs? When am I meeting them? And again, just like with the core values, I would venture to guess that most of us, most of you who are listening, are not budgeting time, planning time or spontaneously working in time for meeting your own needs, and that, if you did, if you even started there. Imagine that, starting with your core needs as you're planning out your day or your week, if that's what you started with first. But regardless whether you start with that or that's what you get to last, if at least the core needs are making it on there, they're a consideration. That's progress, that's a step in the right direction, because when those needs are going unmet, like I said before, you are exhausted. You're feeling the impact of that and it's not a positive impact.

Speaker 1: 25:57

So, really looking at your core values and your core needs as a filter that's what I tell my coaching clients is that these are now your filter, your filter for anything that goes on your calendar, anything that you're spending your time on. Filter it through those core values and needs. Do they line up? Are they related? How are they related? And of course, like I said, there's going to be some things that, quite frankly, you have to do but they don't match up with your values or your needs, and that's part of life.

Speaker 1: 26:35

But I also have found, at least personally, that even the things that I have to do, that I'd rather not do, somehow some way do connect to a core need or value, and when I make that connection. It actually helps me to get on board with getting those tasks done with less resistance, with less procrastination, because I see the value of it or I see the need of it. So it makes me a little bit more motivated and invested in spending my time on those things that I would, quite frankly, often rather not be doing. But when I realize how, in fact, they can be connected to core values and needs, it makes those things more meaningful and it makes it easier to get them done. So just throwing that out there for anyone who needs to hear it, so as we're wrapping up core values, core needs absolutely a very, very effective, useful exercise for you to do that's going to help you identify where you're hustling in your life in ways that are not serving you and how you can make some changes to what you're spending your time on so that you're feeling fulfilled.

Speaker 1: 28:01

And I mentioned at the start of this episode that we would also look at priorities, so how to prioritize your time and your tasks. And this will have to be an entire other episode on its own because it's such a huge, huge topic, but I do think it's important to mention that here in the context of this topic, that what you would want to do, or what I suggest that you consider doing, is asking yourself, out of all of these values and all of these needs, which are the ones that resonate most with me, which are the ones that I absolutely need to have in place or that absolutely have to be top of mind, because they are the most important and when I have them, I'm better equipped to handle whatever is coming my way that day. Those are the ones that I would prioritize. Those are the things that I would prioritize. So for me, that is usually movement.

Speaker 1: 29:06

In terms of needs, values is usually family, or time, of course, is a value, but family is one of the biggest priorities when it comes to my values. And ask yourself that question each and every day, because your answer on one day might not be the same as your answer on another day, and that's OK, there's nothing wrong with that. Ok, all right. That is it for today's episode on how to spend your time with intention, using the core values and needs exercise. Make sure you get in the Facebook group so that you are up to date about all of the events that are happening, and I hope for those of you who are listening live. I hope to see you on Thursday, the 28th, at 7 PM Eastern for the free webinar all about mindful time management strategies for busy SLPs. I'll talk to you then, music.