44. Work-Life Balance for SLPs: Is it Even Possible??

Struggling to juggle the demands of your speech-language pathology career with your personal life? You're not alone! In today's episode, I'm breaking down work-life balance--what does it mean, is it even possible, and if so, how do we create it? 

Saying 'no' can be a superpower, especially for those of us who are often high achievers and people-pleasers by nature. This episode offers a dose of tough-love as I explore the transformative effect of setting boundaries and the surprising liberation that comes with protecting our mental health. I'll share personal insights and strategies on how to break free from overextension, with a focus on changing the thought patterns that may have led to it. 

And I've got an exciting offer for those of you who are struggling with work-life balance: a free virtual workshop where I'll help you identify your core values and needs so you can start spending your time on what matters most. This is an event you won't want to miss! Save the Date: May 30th, 2024 at 7 PM Eastern. Registration details to follow. 

Are you sick and tired of feeling overwhelmed by all the things? I can help. Schedule a free consult today.

Come join the SLP Support Group on Facebook for more tips and tricks!

Follow me on Instagram! @theresamharp

Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

This is your speech path mindful time management for the busy SLP. My name's Teresa Harp and, as a mom and speech pathologist turned productivity coach, I know a thing or two about how hectic life can be. If you're an SLP who's overworked, burnout and feeling like you're constantly falling short as a therapist and a mom, then this is the podcast for you. I cover time management and mindset strategies so you can learn to love your work and your home life at the same time. Let's dive in. Hey SLPs, welcome back to the podcast. I have got an episode today that is maybe a little triggering, maybe a little bit of tough love, so consider yourselves warned. We're going to be talking about work-life balance and what that means, if it's possible, what that looks like, all that sort of thing. Butth of this year, 2024, 7 pm Eastern, where I'm hosting a values and needs workshop. That's all about how to identify what matters most to you and use those key values, those key needs, to guide you in what you spend your time on, and it's probably something that I should be charging for. Honestly, it's going to be a bit of a workshop. So for those of you who like that sort of thing, where you're not just listening, you're actually starting to put this information into action and you're implementing things, then you'll love this workshop. And for those of you that that's sort of not your cup of tea, come anyway. You can kind of sit back and listen and take it all in, and then you can engage and participate when you feel most comfortable. But it's going to be an incredibly valuable workshop, so make sure you click the link in the show notes to sign up or save your seat for that, and I'll be sharing more details as the date gets closer.

Speaker 1: 2:21

Okay, so today I'm talking about work-life balance and I'm going to call it on this podcast, I'm going to refer to it as work-life balance, but we've heard this referred to many different ways by many different people and I think, for the purposes of this podcast, it is important that we really get clear on what that means, and you know, as SLPs, semantics are our thing, so you know, sometimes I'll call this work-life harmony or I've also called it work-life blend, work-life integration. To be honest, I've thought about these names probably far more than I care to admit, and I have not found a phrase that I feel really encompasses what I think of when I think of work-life balance. But, quite frankly, it doesn't matter. But, quite frankly, it doesn't matter, regardless of what you call it. What matters, especially for yes, for this episode, but especially for you-life balance. I am not talking about equal time at work and at home, okay. That's not what it means, that's not what I'm promoting, that's not what I'm suggesting you should aim for. It's not about quantity of time, okay. It's not about quantity of time, okay. So what is most important for you is to define what it would look like, or what you want it to look like for you, okay, not what anyone else means when they say that phrase. So, as you're listening to this, I want you to think about what it means to you, and so take in this information through the lens of your definition of work-life balance, and if you need to spend some time coming up with that definition, then do that. That would be a good use of your time, okay? Or maybe this episode will actually support you in getting clarity on what it means to you and coming up with your own definition. So that's a possibility, I know.

Speaker 1: 4:59

For me, when I say work-life balance, work-life harmony, when I say work-life balance, work-life harmony, work-life blend, work-life integration, it really means personally. For me, it means being in control of my time, being in authority of how I'm spending my time, whether that's time that I'm spending at work, or time that I'm spending at home or with my family, or time that I'm spending at home or with my family. It's me feeling at peace and feeling capable and feeling present in whatever it is that I'm spending my time doing. So that's what it means for me. It's a sense of control. It's about a feeling of control and operating from the belief that I am the one who's deciding what I'm spending my time on, both at work and at home. Okay, so if that definition or that sort of explanation supports you or serves you in any way, you're welcome to borrow from it. And if it doesn't supports you or serves you in any way, you're welcome to borrow from it. And if it doesn't, then ignore, just leave it and move forward.

Speaker 1: 6:15

Okay, so here's where the tough love aspect is going to come into play. Okay, because we're talking about what it is work-life balance, what it is, and, if it's possible, okay. But before we sort of tackle that question of possibility, what I think so many of you need to hear and again, tough love is that you are not taking ownership over your circumstances. You're not taking as much ownership as you can over the circumstances of your work life and your home life. Now, what do I mean by that? Well, here's a long answer.

Speaker 1: 6:59

How many times have you either you personally found yourself thinking or heard friends, colleagues, other you know SLPs on social media talking about how the specific setting in which they work is either really good or really bad for workload, right? So I'll see these posts often in Facebook groups for SLPs, where people will post okay, I'm coming back from maternity leave and I want to. You know, I'm not sure if I want to go back to the job where I was or if maybe I want to find a new position. Can you tell me which setting has the best work-life balance or which setting has the best caseload? Which setting has the best circumstances in terms of hours or taking work home with you? And so many of us think that it's about the setting. If you're in a hospital, it's this scenario. If you're in a hospital, it's this scenario. If you're in a school, it's this scenario. If you're in home health, it's this scenario, right.

Speaker 1: 8:11

And we think that if we change positions, if we change settings, it's going to solve the problem for us, and this is where I disagree. Now, do settings vary in terms of workload, caseload, expectations? Yes, I agree with that. Okay, I believe that, however, there's so much within each setting that we, as SLPs, can take ownership over to improve the workload and the work-life balance. I don't agree that one setting, collectively, as a whole, one setting is better than another when it comes to enabling us to improve our work-life balance. I just don't believe that.

Speaker 1: 9:12

Now you can have a different opinion, and that's fine, but hear me out, okay, I believe that you have a choice in what boundaries you can set, in what conversations you can have with administration or supervision or your boss, you know whatever, whoever that is, but that you can have conversations. You can say no, you can set boundaries. And if you are the business owner right, maybe some of you are listening to this and you're the private practice owner, well, that's great, because you get to decide who you take right, who you see and when you see them. And if you're not the business owner, who you see and when you see them. And if you're not the business owner, don't use that as an excuse to say, oh well, then I don't have any control over this? You do. You get to decide what you want to do about it, and that's a good thing, because it means that the solution is within your reach. Right, it means that you get to be part of the solution, and that can be really empowering. So if you are in a setting and you don't like it, you can change it. That is an option.

Speaker 1: 10:41

I think sometimes I'll hear people say things that suggest they're coming from the mentality of I'm stuck at this job, I don't have any other choice. And I question and if you know, if that comes up in a coaching session my question is is that true? What about that is true? What about that isn't true? Because you can change your setting. You can decide to leave, you can decide to take a different job. You can decide to change your setting entirely. You could decide to leave the field. I'm not suggesting that you should or need to do that, but you do have that option. Right, it might not be the option you want to take. It might not be easy, it might be scary, it might come at a cost. It might mean that you're losing money in terms of retirement benefits, things like that. However, no one is forcing you to be there and so, even if the answer is yes, I could leave, but I don't want to, simply acknowledging that, acknowledging that the possibility exists and that you're choosing to stay, can actually feel empowering.

Speaker 1: 12:18

I think subconsciously, sometimes we want to tell ourselves that we don't have a choice because it gets us off the hook, and then we don't have to do anything about it. We just have to sort of deal with it. About it. We just have to sort of deal with it. And, on the other hand, if you acknowledge that you could leave or that you are choosing to be there, we're afraid that what does that mean about me? Then I'm signing on for this and I'm saying that this is this situation, this workload is acceptable to me and that's all or nothing thinking. That is not true.

Speaker 1: 12:49

You can stay and you can have difficult conversations about change. You do have boundaries that you can set. You can speak up and explain and voice what your needs are, what support you need, right, you can do that Now. Does it mean that they're going to listen? No. Does it mean it's going to to listen? No. Does it mean it's going to go well? No. Does it mean that it's not going to change relationships. No, not necessarily right. Yes, there are costs involved or potential risks involved with that, but if you are acknowledging, at the very least, that I'm choosing to stay here, that actually can empower you. It can actually feel empowering because it's like okay, now this is in my control, so what can I do about it? It takes you out of that place of sort of learned helplessness and puts you into the driver's seat. Okay, I'm going to get off my soap box.

Speaker 1: 13:46

And again, this is not me. I am not trying to be judgmental. I'm not trying to tell you that you're doing it wrong or that you should do this or you shouldn't do that. This is me offering another way of thinking about it. This is me offering a different perspective, encouraging you to really think very honestly with yourself about the scenario and what your options are and what ownership you can take. Okay, so let's say that you're going to stay in your position. Or let's say, even if you're going to maybe seek another position where you think that you're going to find work-life balance, I want to warn you that if you're one of those people and those people I'm laughing because I am one of those people I'll tell you who those people are in a second, but I am this person and I know that many within our field are also this person, this personality. So I say this with the utmost amount of love and empathy and respect.

Speaker 1: 15:02

But if you are the type of person who is high, achieving, ambitious and likes to people please, likes to be liked, likes to do well and be successful, then this is going to be a difficult, this is going to be a difficult part of the episode to listen to, Because everything that I'm talking about challenges those tendencies. And if you are that type of person, you're going to bring that personality, you're going to bring that brain, you're going to bring those thoughts and those beliefs to whatever setting you work in. Even if you find a setting where the caseload is, let's say, 20 clients, right, or oh, here, how about this? How about 10 clients? Okay, let's say you find that setting and that's what you want, okay. But if you're the people pleaser, if you're the overachiever, if you're the one that is the perfectionist and wants to succeed quote, unquote, right, air quotes then you're going to take all of those tendencies with you. So if you have a caseload of 10, you're going to make it challenging, you're going to make it feel like a caseload of 20. You're going to be doing going above and beyond, doing all sorts of extra, putting extra time, effort, energy, thought into all of the work that you're doing and you're going to create the exact circumstances that you're trying to leave, the exact circumstances that you're trying to get away from. When you changed settings, when you thought you could change the circumstances and things would improve, that stuff doesn't just go away. In fact, coaching is exactly the way that it is managed. Right, that is what we do in coaching is figuring out how to change those thought patterns, how to change those beliefs so that they become thought patterns and beliefs that support and serve you, not ones that are at the cost of your physical and mental well-being.

Speaker 1: 17:22

Okay, so what I want you to consider is the possibility that you can stop saying yes and start saying no, whether that's in the workplace, whether that's outside of the workplace or anywhere in between. Where are all the places where you can stop saying yes to things? What are the things that you say yes to that you immediately regret? I have had to do a lot of work in this department. I still have to do a lot of work. In fact, I definitely, at the time that I'm recording this episode, I definitely broke some boundaries and made some decisions that, in terms of things that I have said yes to, that you know I haven't in a while and you know it's just something that I'm aware of and that at least now I have the tools to work through through the power of coaching and just a lot of internal work. This is now the exception for me, when before it used to be the norm, and so this is now an outlier where I've overextended myself and okay, that happens, you know, and now I have the tools to work through it.

Speaker 1: 18:55

But I'm willing to bet that many of you who are listening can relate to what I'm saying about saying yes to things that you wish you didn't say yes to, or you only said yes because you thought you had to or you didn't want to let somebody down. And I want to offer that you can start saying no and imagine what would happen if you did really imagine it from a place of not worst case scenario. Oh my gosh, people aren't going to like me anymore. I'm going to get fired. I'm going to ruin relationships. I'm going to get fired. I'm going to ruin relationships. I'm going to disappoint someone, but really, through a place of answering that question from a place of reality, realistic, sort of realistic answers to what would happen if I said no to this. Well, if I said no to this, it would allow me to preserve this time for XYZ, right?

Speaker 1: 19:54

Okay, you also, in doing this, need to focus on what matters most and actually, if this episode is resonating with you, then you absolutely need to come to the workshop on May 30th, because that's exactly what we're going to be doing in that workshop is helping you figure out what matters most. I'm going to walk you through that and how you do it. You need to focus on what matters most and those need to be your sort of guiding lights, so to speak, in terms of what you say yes to and what you say no to. I have clients who have done this work with me, where they've figured out we've gone through exercises of figuring out what matters most and it has completely changed the game for them in terms of how they're spending their time, and not just what they're spending their time on, but how they feel about it. It's improved relationships, it's improved their household functionality and systems and the way that they show up in their marriage, or the way that they show up as parents or with their children. It's just when you get very, very clear on what matters most, it's a lot easier to make decisions that are in your own best interest. Okay, and that's part of creating that.

Speaker 1: 21:23

Whatever your vision is of work-life balance, you have to be able to have, you have to have clarity on what it is that matters most, so that you know what you're trying to balance. Now, the other piece of this when it comes to work-life balance is it even possible is that you have to believe in the possibility, and the hard part, I think, for so many of of us, is that you have to believe in the possibility before you've actually created your vision of work-life balance. So if you've been somebody who's, if you're someone who's always struggled with work-life balance and you feel like you're burning the candle at both ends and that you're not making the best use of your time and and you're basically approaching burnout and so on and so forth, and you've never had a sustainable period of time where you felt like you had time, energy, resources devoted to work and to home life at the same time, then this is going to be a stretch for you. You might not even believe that it's possible, and that's really discouraging, that's really disheartening, that's really sad to think about, because it is possible. But if you don't believe that it's possible, then it won't happen. And here's why Because if you don't believe that work-life balance is possible, or that your vision whatever your vision is of that, if you don't believe that's possible, then any decision that you make going forward is not going to be in alignment with achieving the goal of work-life balance, because you're going to think things like oh, it doesn't even matter, I mean, I'm just, I'm an SLP, I signed up for this, so I might as well just just got to take these cases that I was assigned, or I guess I got to bring my work home with me.

Speaker 1: 23:27

I mean, work-life balance, that'd be nice, must be nice, for those who don't have to bring their work home with them. Right? These are the limiting beliefs that we have, these are the thoughts that go through our head when it comes to our jobs, our career and our vision or desire to create that vision of work-life balance. And so then we just move forward with decisions that don't allow us or enable us to improve that work-life balance. If we get cases that we're not equipped to or willing to handle, or if we have documentation, we'll bring it home with us because we think, well, I mean, it's no such thing as work-life balance. So this is what I signed up for, this is what I have to do right, in order for you to create that work-life balance, you have to believe that it's possible, you have to decide that it's possible, and then you have to make decisions after that that support that vision.

Speaker 1: 24:32

Sometimes this looks like I'm trying to think of the best way to describe this. So, thinking about if maybe there's someone around you here's one idea Maybe there's somebody around you, someone that you know, who you feel like has, from your perspective, a quote-unquote good sense of work-life balance, and what you need to do, or one thing that can support you in this journey, is stepping into that identity, trying to embody the characteristics and the decisions that you think that person would make. So what would someone who has good work-life balance do in this situation? Well, they would tell their boss I'm sorry, I can't meet that deadline. Or they would say to their supervisor I'm not going to that location for home sessions. Or they might decide that, if their employer is not going to provide paid documentation time, then maybe there needs to be a conversation about adjusting the schedule so that there's room or bandwidth there to get documentation done. Or maybe there needs to be an adjustment in the pay scale and they might have a conversation about that.

Speaker 1: 26:08

Right, I don't know. I'm thinking out loud. I'm just throwing out scenarios here, hypotheticals, but sometimes what can be helpful is to think like the person who already has the outcome that you're trying to achieve and making decisions from that place. But in order to do that, you, number one, need to believe that work-life balance is possible. And then, number two, believe that it's possible for you, believe that you have the ability and the authority and the ownership to be able to make it a reality.

Speaker 1: 26:46

Okay, so at this point, what I want to invite you to do is to, number one, get incredibly clear on what work-life balance looks like for you, not anybody else just what does it look like to you? And then, number two, do an informal audit, just an audit of, in your mind, of what things am I saying yes to that I don't need to be saying yes to. What things am I not doing that I could be doing to move myself one step closer to that work-life balance. So do an audit of your circumstances and an audit of your thoughts that are circling through your head that you might not even realize are there, and look at them through the lens of how do these relate to work-life balance? Are they moving me closer towards that vision? Are they moving me away from that vision?

Speaker 1: 27:52

And if this is something you want help with, if you really want somebody to partner with you, hold you accountable, help you see your blind spots, uncover what those underlying thoughts are and understanding how those thoughts impact the way that you spend your time, reach out and schedule a consult and I can talk with you and tell you exactly how I can help. The link to book a consult it's free is always in the show notes. All right, that's all I've got for this week's episode. I will see you all next week or in the SLP support group. In the meantime, bye.