114. Back-to-School Chaos: ADHD-Friendly Sanity Strategies for Overwhelmed SLPs

You love your kids. You love summer. But right about now? You’ve had enough. The lack of structure, the endless snacks, the back-to-school forms piling up—it’s a lot. And if you’re feeling scattered, behind, or just plain wiped, you’re not failing. You’re human.

In this episode (pulled from a Facebook Live), I’m talking about what this season actually feels like for SLPs, why it’s so tricky for ADHD brains, and the mindset + systems shifts that can keep you afloat until routines return.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

• Why this season feels so hard (hint: it’s not just you)
• The power of naming what’s happening out loud to defuse shame
• What it really means to be gentle with yourself—and how to build up to it
• My go-to strategy for B- work: the Minimum Viable Product approach
• Practical cues, reminders, and supports that actually help when life is chaos
• A quick mindset reframe that puts you back in the driver’s seat

Whether you’re trying to keep up with eval reports, school paperwork, or just laundry and snacks on repeat, this episode will help you feel less alone—and remind you that you do have options (none of which involve being perfect).

To find out how I can help you improve your work-life balance, click here.

Come join the SLP Support Group on Facebook for more tips and tricks!

Follow me on Instagram! @theresamharp

Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to Work-Life Balance for Speech Pathologists. I'm Theresa Harp, an SLP and Productivity Coach, and this podcast is all about how to build a successful career as an SLP and still have time for yourself and the people and things you love. So if you're ready to ditch stress and burnout for a more balanced and fulfilling life than you are in the right place, let's dive in.

Hey, SLPs, this podcast episode is from a Facebook Live that I did in the SLP support group. And since it's a topic that's been coming up a lot in coaching sessions lately, I wanted to share it with you here on the podcast. And if this information is something that you want more of, make sure you click the link in the show notes to join the SLP support group on Facebook.

We'll see you there. So anyway. Hello, hello, hello? It is good to be back. I've been away and sort of like back and [00:01:00] forth to the shore and spending time with the family over the past two weeks, two and a half weeks. Um, and I am sort of back, we still have a couple of weeks before school starts just about, but I did wanna come in live today for one big reason.

To be completely transparent about the struggle that is this time of year because it is something that has come up with my coaching clients. In the majority of my sessions, the co, the coaching clients c SLPs that I coach who work in the medical setting don't really have the, don't seem to have the same struggle because their schedule essentially.

Runs the same whether it's summer or fall, but for a lot of SLPs, this is a really [00:02:00] tricky time of year. Okay? And that's what I'm gonna be talking about today. I'm gonna be going over what I have been struggling with, how I am handling it, giving you some suggestions to help you. If you are having a hard time with this time of year.

Okay, so also just wanna say hello. I know there's a lot of new members that recently joined and it, a lot of you joined right before I left, um, right before my kids got out of camp, and so I kind of went into mom mode. So you may not have seen any Facebook lives before. You may not know me, but I'm Theresa.

Hi, I'm Anki. I am also a certified productivity coach. I am a mom of four. I was diagnosed with a DHD as an adult, and right now I am completely in the chaos and craziness of back to school season. So, hi, welcome, and for those of you that, that know me, [00:03:00] say hello. If you're watching live, if you're watching the replay, um, just let me know that you're here.

It's just helpful to kind of have that like two-way connection in this. Two dimensional world. Okay, so I wanna be super clear. This Facebook Live is more it go. I'm going to give you tips, but this is not like a five steps to master back to school season. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but this is more like, here's what's going on right now.

With me and what I know is going on with my coaching clients and what I suspect is going on with a lot of you, right? Here's what's happening, here's why I think it's happening, and here are some of the things that I'm doing and that you can try to sort of bring yourself back to center. So if you are feeling scrambled or out of sorts.

Disconnected, um, dysregulated [00:04:00] behind. Overwhelmed. You're not alone, and this Facebook Live is for you. Okay, so right now, let me paint you a little bit of a picture, okay? Some of you may have similar pictures in your own live happening right now. I've got, let's see, August 1st. Was it Friday, August 1st or second?

I think it was Friday the first. My kids was, it was the last day of camp for my kids. So essentially the month of August. They are all home, all four of them. I have twins that are nine. I have a 7-year-old, I have a 5-year-old. My children, I love them, but they are a lot. They are high energy. There's a lot of movement and noise and motion.

There's a lot of fighting, arguing, bickering. Complaining, whining, all sorts of things. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my [00:05:00] kids. I really do enjoy the summer season. I like being able to spend time with them. I love and value and appreciate the, the privilege that I have to be hung with them and not having to go to a nine to five every day and put them in daycare.

That's just, I'm lucky that I don't have to do that. So wanna acknowledge that. But I also want to acknowledge that this part of the year can be really hard. Like we reached the point of the season where the lack of structure and the lack of rhythm and routines are really starting to take a toll. We've had a lot of together time and we are sort of craving that.

Schedule. We're craving the, the routine and the predictability that I know will come with fall, [00:06:00] but right now it's a lot of screen time, more screen time than I would like, right? Like right now, my kids are in front of the tv. I was scrambling in between a coaching call and this Facebook Live to get a batch of pancakes made so that they would be fed.

And would maybe leave me alone for a little while so that I could be here. Right. It's a lot of like dipping in and out of, or transitioning back and forth from like work mode to mom mode, work mode to mom mode, and everything is just sort of like spilling over, right? And so this is also the time of year where, because they're so.

Much going on and there's not a whole lot of structure and routine yet. It is very easy for me to forget things, um, you know, drop a ball, mission appointments, screw up a time, something like that. [00:07:00] Like that is, and also September. That will, will, there will be more of that in September as well, because while September will bring some structure and some scheduling and consistency and predictability, it's also gonna bring a lot of dropped events.

Scheduled events. So field hockey season started this week. Um, there's gonna be back to school nights and there's picture day and there's, um, open house, and there's. Piano lessons that are starting and, uh, after, after school and extracurricular activities. So it is a lot. It is a lot. And the transition from this reality to that reality is not always easy.

Okay. Especially if you have or suspect that you have a DHD or suspect that you're neurodivergent. Okay. This is [00:08:00] challenging, but there are things that we can do to support ourselves. So that's what I wanna talk about. I wanna tell you what I am trying to do. This Facebook Live is as much for me as it is hopefully for you.

And I also acknowledge too, that some of you may have already started this. You may be a little bit further ahead than I am. I still have about a week and a half left of summer. Um. So we're in like that anticipation buildup mode. But some of you may already be in your summer, your school year may have already started and you may still be struggling because like I said, I know in September I will also still be struggling.

Okay, so here's, here are some of the things that I am doing. These are not necessarily, uh, you know, foolproof or failproof solutions, but they are things that are helpful for me. And they've been helpful for some coaching clients. So take what serves you. Leave what doesn't, as [00:09:00] always. Okay. All right. The first thing that I do when I'm in this type of scenario is I acknowledge it and name it.

So rather than sort of trying to work harder, get up earlier. Be more focused, get more done, push myself more instead, and then like shame myself or guilt myself for not getting certain things done or dropping a ball or whatever, right? Instead of that, I'm just naming what's happening and normalizing it.

So just this, just this act of saying this is a chaotic time of year, like my brain is overloaded. I'm not failing. This is just my brain. The way that my brain works. This is how my brain is trying to keep up and react to change. But it's hard, and that alone just takes pressure off. [00:10:00] Also, reminding myself that this is temporary.

This happens every year, right? This is not a surprise. It happened every year. It doesn't feel like this all year long, luckily. So this is just part of life, right? Sometimes there's gonna be. Seasons of life where things are feeling pretty manageable, feeling pretty steady. Then there's seasons of life where things are just gonna be crappy, hard, challenging, chaotic, overwhelming, whatever.

Right? That's how life works. That's what's happening right now, but it's not permanent. So just kind of voicing that, putting that out there. Helps to alleviate from of the pressure. Okay? So if you haven't acknowledged that and allowed yourself to, to, um, to state that out loud, please do. It does make a difference.

And this isn't, not, this isn't even something that you just do once. This is something that I have to do multiple times a day. Like when I start to spiral, when [00:11:00] something is like really triggering me because, you know, four kids at home, just chaos. I'll have to take a deep breath and remind myself this is temporary.

I also don't want to get, um, I am very cautious or careful about. Not wishing away this time, like I still, I don't wanna just get through it. I wanna be able to enjoy it too with the kids and I'm not gonna enjoy every minute of it. Like, truly not. I'm not gonna enjoy every argument and, you know, every power struggle and I'm bored every wine and all that.

No, it's not about enjoying all of it, but overall, right, if I sort of zoom out and look at this, this season, this part of my timeline, I wanna to have enjoyed it. I wanna enjoy moments. I want to make the most of it, and I want to not wish it away because I know that they're only young for so long. Now, be careful if this is resonating with you.

Just be [00:12:00] careful that you don't. Then use that against yourself. Where in moments where you are wishing it wasn't this way, where you are finding yourself really unhappy or overwhelmed or stressed, not then guilting yourself, gaslighting yourself. And telling yourself, oh, see, like I should just be enjoying it.

Why are you not enjoying it? What's wrong with you? Right? We're not doing that. We're not doing that. So you have to just be cautious of how the energy that you are bringing with this sort of stealth talk, with this approach. Okay. Secondly, and being gentle with myself, and I am specifically choosing that phrase, being gentle with myself.

Intentionally. Okay. This one is something that, it's an ongoing process for me. It's a, an approach, a strategy that has taken me time to work up to, and this is like a mini [00:13:00] lesson in and of itself. So I, I want you to hear this and think about this, not just in terms of how it's gonna help you with this particular point in time, but also the process that I'm gonna share of how I got here.

So, being gentle with myself. I started out 'cause I put a lot of pressure on myself and have high expectations. Overachiever, high performer, right? Like many of you in here, I would imagine. And I know. Um, and so that habit, that lifestyle, that line of thinking is the result of years of experience. Decades of experience and wiring.

Okay. So in order for me to start like undoing that, shifting that it took time, it took focus, it took discomfort, [00:14:00] and it took, um, baby steps. So I didn't start out with like going from high achiever, overachiever, perfectionist to. Being gentle of myself, like that was not, that was not a, a, a realistic shift for me.

So I did what, what I call in, um, coaching sessions, what we call ladder steps or ladder thoughts. So the thought of. Choosing a thought of be gentle with yourself. I can be gentle with myself. That didn't feel like it was like it fit for me. So the like tiniest shift, the tiniest reframe and thought for me was give myself grace.

That felt doable. That felt comfortable, that felt like aligned with me. You have to choose what feels like it sort of fits for you. Um, to me that was a lower bar than be gentle with myself. To me, give myself grace with more [00:15:00] manageable, felt easier, more realistic. So this isn't about choose like, like identifying the one right thought.

It's identifying the thought that's right for you. That was the thought that was right for me. I hear a lot of people say, we hear that. Give yourself grace. We like, that's sort of like a common buzz phrase, if you will, in society and social media right now. So it was familiar and I felt like, okay, I could start there, give myself grace, but when I would screw up, so Pa Theresa, give yourself grace.

Just give yourself grace. Right? And then I moved that from give myself grace to. Be kind. Be kind to myself, right? And now it's moving towards be gentle with myself. And to me those are slightly different thoughts. They have slightly different meanings. So being gentle with myself means specifically not pushing myself too hard, right?

Giving myself breaks [00:16:00] beforehand, like before I screw up. Building in those breaks, building in that kindness, taking care of myself. Choosing them not to shame myself when I do slip up. Okay, so that is, that has been very helpful for me. Whatever works for you or fits for you, be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself.

Give yourself grace. Give yourself flexibility. Give yourself permission. Whatever you can do to sort of lower the bar, do that. Because piling on the pressure and the stress and saying, well, this is a hard time of year, so I'm gonna have to bust my ass even more. And this is the mark. That's the line of thinking and the actions that get you and keep you where you are, that's what's gotten you here to this point of stress and overwhelm and approaching burnout, and that's what's gonna keep you in stress and overwhelm and approaching burnout.

Okay? So you have to change the way of thinking. That's huge. Trust me when I say this, because I said [00:17:00] this in lots of different ways, many different times, but it is, I believe that it's not really even about necessarily what's on your calendar and what you're doing. It's about how you're thinking about it.

It's about the internal dialogue that you have, the pressure that you're putting on yourself. To do the tasks, to do the activities because evaluation reports, for example, could be on your schedule or be on your to-do list no matter what, but there's a lot of different ways that you can show up to write an evaluation report, and they're gonna feel very differently and they're gonna result.

In different outcomes. So you can write an evaluation report by giving yourself grace, by being kind or gentle to yourself. Or you could write an evaluation report by pushing yourself to the next and making it perfect. Which one is going to feel better? Which one is gonna serve you more? Which one is going to align with the lifestyle and the work-life balance that you [00:18:00] want?

Same task, same thing on your calendar. Write the report. But the line of thinking. Is what dictates how it feels. Okay? So even if you don't and can't change what's on your calendar right now, you can change how you think about it. Alright? So that's another thing that I'm doing for myself right now. Third thing that I'm doing, I'm gonna give you two sort of like tangible strategies.

Both of those are like mindset related. I'm gonna give you some tangible ones. Third one is what I call with my coaching clients. We call it, it's the MVP and it's counterintuitive, but MVP, which stands for, is for those of you that have private practices or you kind of are in the business world, the minimum, minimum viable product.

So what is the sort of simplest level that I can complete this? What's the most basic, you know, no bells and whistles that I can, that I can do as I'm completing this task? [00:19:00] How can I do it in the simplest way possible where I'm not overcomplicating it and I'm not setting the bar too high. So this isn't the time of year for me where I'm necessarily pushing myself to produce my best work.

My podcast episodes may not be the best right now. Perfect example. Two. Two, not this week's episode, but the one before it was recorded, the night before it was due, and it was. It was not good. It was very rambly. It was very unfocused. It was not my best work, and I knew it when I was doing it, and I, my brain was even telling me, well, just rerecord it.

Just rerecord it. And then I was like, you know what? No. MVP, minimum vi. Minimum Bible product. Right? Another way to think of this as like B minus level work, for those of you who push yourself for the a, a plus, right? Let's shift the bar. We're doing B minus, maybe even C level work. Okay, lower the expectations.

[00:20:00] Don't be so hard on yourself. What's the smallest version of today? That can still count as a win? So for me, you know, it's like if I get through one mode of laundry today, that's great. Maybe it's. Maybe it's if I get through outlining a podcast episode, but not actually recording it like yesterday, um, the schedule was batching recording episodes, record several episodes.

Didn't do it, didn't get done. We were, other things were going on with the kids. It just didn't happen. But I'm not allowing that to mean that I have failed or that anything has gone wrong. It's like, it's okay. It will get done. It will get done, and it's okay. Right. It could be, um, takeout for dinner instead of a home cooked meal.

Maybe this is the week where we're not getting in a whole lot of veggies or fruits. We're just sort of going with Dino nuggets and that's fine, [00:21:00] right? So you get to decide what your B minus level looks like. You get to decide what your MVP is, but know that that's an option. It's not all or nothing.

There's a whole lot of middle ground there that you can capitalize on. So do it. Why not? Right? Conserve your energy for the things that matter. Okay? And then the, the forced sort of tactical, the forced strategy, and this one again, is tactical, right? Is about building in more supports and cues. Now, think about this in terms of the clients that you treat or the students that you see, or the, the patients that you treat, okay?

However you, whatever, setting her in, however you call them. When we have a goal for our clients, we have queues built in, right? We also have a criterion. Is the criterion ever a hundred percent accuracy or a hundred percent of [00:22:00] the time? No. So let's not make it a hundred percent of the time for us. Why?

When we set our own goals, do we, do we think that if we haven't done it one time, we miss one opportunity that we failed? Keep that in mind. And with our goals for our clients, we build in cues. We build in prompts and cues to support them with building the skill and then work towards independence. And when our clients are going through a difficult time, whatever that looks like, would we tell our clients all like, you know, just.

Figure it out, just muddle through. No, we would give them some added support to help them. One of those things might be okay this time for right now, we may need to build in more cues because there's a greater demand on you. So let's build in some more cues so that you can [00:23:00] don't work on building the skill, and then we can always back them off, save them out with time.

So for me. I do this for myself because I know that I'm going to be very, it's very likely for me to forget about an appointment or get an appointment time wrong. That has happened many times for me, and I've done lots of things to try and. Help myself sometimes, even when all of these cues are in place, I still screw it up and okay, whatever that happens.

But some things that have helped me screw up less often in this case are with my Google Calendar. I put in all the reminders, like as many reminders and notifications as I can put in. I do. I increase them now. Email reminders, text reminders, calendar reminders, app notifications, whatever. They're all like often.

Okay. I also, on my Google events, [00:24:00] on my Google calendar, when I'm putting in the event, I now put in, when I, when I, um, label the events in Google Calendar, I'll start the label with the start time. So instead of saying like. Coaching session and putting it on the calendar at like the nine o'clock time slot.

I will put it in the nine o'clock time slot, but I'll call it 9:00 AM coaching session so that when I look at the Google calendar, I can see nine right there and don't have to look at like where it's falling on that timeline of the day. It's super, super clear for me. Okay. Seems really simple. Uh, it is really simple.

It seems silly, but it, for me, it works. I know my vis like the way that I process information, best visual cues are incredibly helpful for me. So I give myself as many visual cues as I [00:25:00] can. I rely on outside resources like I. I delegate this to my kids. I'll say to my kids, okay guys, remind me this. Remind me of that.

Help me remember this. Or Can you do this for me? Can you do this with me? Right. So that it's lowering the, the tasks on my list. It's also hopefully lowering the cognitive load a little bit or maybe increasing the supports that are in place to help me remember. Okay. It's not weakness. This is just me.

Recognizing what supports exist and using them, utilizing them to my advantage. Sticky notes, more sticky notes, more post-its, more reminders, more accountability, texts, all of that. Um, and also filling in my clients, my coaching clients and like family and friends, just sort of letting them know like, Hey, this is a super chaotic time.

If I. Forget something, or if you don't hear from me and there's something that you need, please reach out. [00:26:00] It's not that I have forgotten about you, it's just there's a whole lot going on right now and don't hesitate to let me know if you need something. Right. Um, just so that they're kind of, it's like that open line of communication and plus this is, when I do that, I'm modeling for my coaching clients what they can do to support themselves.

If we try to like take all this on ourselves, right? All it on ourselves to be a hero, you're not winning. That's just making it harder on yourself. Let's make it easier and let's normalize the chaos of this, this season and this support that is needed. Let's just make that normal. It's not a thing. It's not a problem.

Okay, and then last but not least. I pay attention to my thoughts, okay? Yes. This time of year is chaotic and saying that out loud [00:27:00] as I started this Facebook live with that strategy of like, name it, normalize it, say it out loud. That is important and it's, it's helpful. However, if I ruminate in that thought and tell myself over and over the story of how hard this time of year is.

That just creates more work for my brain and it perpetuates the, it creates more stress for my brain and it perpetuates that narrative. So then my brain, my reticular activating system is just serving as a filter. It is like my brain then looks for and only sees all of the evidence, all of the things that happened that prove.

This time of year is chaotic. See, I told you it was chaotic. Look at all these emails I just got from back to school and, oh, look at all these forms that I have to fill out this year. So chaotic. Oh my gosh. [00:28:00] They just added this to this schedule. Oh, this year's crazy already and it haven't even started, right?

Those are like the thoughts that go through our brain, and it doesn't mean that that we're wrong to think them. That's just human. That's the way our mind works. But. Don't forget that you have control over that. So when I start thinking that way, I practice reframing it. I could think this time of year is so crazy, right?

Or I could think this time of year is crazy, but I can handle it. I could think, yeah, this time of year is total chaos, but it won't last forever. This time of year is super overwhelming, but I've gotten through it every other year and we'll get through it this year. This time of year is so busy. I can do hard things, right?

You gotta choose the thoughts that worked for you, but know that you have the ability to redirect [00:29:00] those thoughts. If you stay stuck in how, in thinking, how crazy and busy and stressful this time of year is, you're going to stay stuck, feeling busy and stressful and overwhelmed. But if you start shifting the way you think about it, it immediately puts you into a place of empowerment, reminds you of what you can take ownership over, what you can take control over, puts you back into the driver's seat so that you can start gifting and putting things in place to feel more in control over this season.

Okay. Think about the thoughts. Look at the thoughts that you're thinking. Look at them. Observe them. Notice them. Ask yourself, which thought is more useful, which thoughts are helpful and which thoughts are not okay? And start shifting them and go back to that strategy that I shared about a latter thought, just one little shift in the thinking that still feels possible.

Easy, relatable [00:30:00] for you. Start there. Okay. We're not going from like this carrier's so chaotic too. FaceTiming here is a breeze, right? Like we're, that's not what we're talking about. Again, we're not gaslighting ourselves. We're just taking one small step to bring back that agency and authority. Alright? So you do not need to suffer through this crazy, chaotic time alone feeling guilt, anxiety, stress, overwhelm.

And fill in the blanks, right? This is the work that I do with coaching clients. This is the work I do with myself, right? I can do this work with you. If you wanna talk about how I can help you do this, book a call. It's a free consult. We can talk it through. I can give you some tips, some ideas. Even if you leave and you decide the coaching is not for you, you'll walk away with some built in support that you can start [00:31:00] using immediately, but more, most importantly.

Just remember that this time of year can feel a lot of different ways, but you do have control over how you show up. There are pieces of this that you can take control over, so look for those pieces. Be gentle with yourself or fill in whatever words, feel fitting and appropriate to you, and know that I'm always here to support here in the Facebook group.

You can reach out, you can post, you can reach out via at dms. Whatever you need. I'm here. Lean on this community for support. You do not have to do this alone. Alright, that's it for this Facebook Live. I hope that this was helpful. I'll talk with you Allall soon.