125. The Real Cost of Staying Stuck

We all have something in our lives that isn’t working...something that feels heavier than we'd like it to. And when you’ve been stuck there long enough, it starts to feel normal. In this off-the-cuff episode, I’m unpacking what it really costs to stay in that stuck place and how to start bridging the gap between awareness and action. (Spoiler: the first step is smaller than you think.)

What You’ll Learn

• How to tell the difference between simple annoyances and true friction
• Why we often know what’s not working but still don’t take action
• The real energetic cost of staying stuck
• What it looks like to “micro-gap” change and move forward one small step at a time
• A coaching question that helps you decide what’s worth changing right now

If This Resonates…

If you’re tired of spinning your wheels and want support finding your next step, I’d love to help. Book a free consult and let’s figure it out together.

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🎧 Related Episodes → #118. Comparing Yourself to Others? Try This Instead
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Keywords: ADHD coaching, work-life balance, productivity for SLPs, overwhelm, burnout, executive functioning, time management

Progress over perfection, always.

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Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.

Transcript

theresa-harp_1_11-10-2025_213205: 0:27

Hey, podcast listeners. Welcome to episode 1 25. I don't know why that feels like a fun number for me. Feels sort of like a milestone. We can make it one, right? I could if I wanted to. It feels like a nice round number, so yay. 1 25. I am popping on. This is a unscripted just off the cuff podcast episode that it's been on my mind and it's just felt like something that I felt called to talk about. So I have been thinking about. How we tend to get stuck in some area of our life and what we do about that and what we don't do about that, and how that costs, what that costs us, how that costs us. So if you, if you're listening to this and you've ever experienced, I would imagine, I don't know how you couldn't have, right? But where you've ever experienced something. Like in your life that is just not working for you or that you wish were different? Right. If you found yourself like with this, this, this area of your life that you're not enjoying or that that isn't working well for you, it could be. It doesn't have to be something earth shattering. It could be something minor as well, but we've all been there. Everyone, everyone has something that they wish they could change. Not all discomforts are created equal. So I wanna talk a little bit about that, which by the way, I also just wanted to throw out this, um, podcast episode. There's another podcast episode that I did. I'll have to, I, I, I'll have to link in the show notes to it about. Comparison and it, it wasn't that long ago. So it kind of touches on that point about like everyone having something that they wish that they could change. If this is something that you struggle with, definitely go check out that episode. Hopefully I find it and remember to put it in the show notes. Okay, so everyone has something that they wish they can change. I think most of us have multiple things that we wish that were different or things that we wish we could change. Okay. There is a difference, in my opinion, between something that you wish were different, just something in your life that you wish was different, and then things in your life that are actually weighing you down and costing you. Are causing friction and pain, right? So I want you to think about the thing or the things about your day that cause the real friction, like the emotional friction, the mental friction, the physical friction. That should be a tongue twister, by the way. That was very hard to get out clearly. But something, what is it? When you think about your day, reflect on your day. What is it about your day that causes real friction for you? Look at that, examine that. So some examples, I mean, I do this a lot, like I think about this a lot in the coaching world is lateness being late. That is a, a, a piece of friction in our household, um, in our family dynamic. There is some tension there of like needing to be on time and it's not smooth. It's not. It requires a lot of effort. It causes disruptions in the family flow. It causes like actual tension where people are kids. You know, we're snapping at each other. Okay. I'm not gonna name, name here, names here. I'm just saying, so that is something that I could in theory, decide like, okay, I, this is not working for me. I don't like this dynamic. I don't like this scenario. And. It's not like, oh, I just wish it were different. It's like, it actually is quite annoying and problematic and I don't like how I feel before, during, and after, and I wanna change it. That is the, that you have to, you have to decide that difference. Okay, so I am talking about the things that you want to change. They're not working for you and you want to change them. Right? It could be like feeling stuck in a job. It's not working for you any longer. It once was something that you loved. Now, not so much. It could be this like, pattern of perpetual burnout and, and burning the candle at both ends. It could be submitting reports late, um, or like the stress and, and tension and anxiety that you experience in meeting deadlines. For reports or documentation or any other area, right? So think about what it is. Could be a relationship that you have with somebody that is, you're not loving, you're not loving the way that the dynamics are. Okay? You have to look at that and decide what are the real problems, and then what's the background noise like? What are the pieces of this that are actually challenging to the point that I wanna do something about them, they're, they're causing. Some real discomfort versus just the background noise. Okay? Because if everything feels like a problem, then your brain is in constant overdrive, so you have to sort through which challenges are actually creating the pain, and then which ones are the annoyances or which ones do I see? I'm aware of it, but I'm not yet. Interested, willing, able, whatever. I'm, I'm not going there yet. That's something that I will do often. I'll see like, oh yeah, okay, this is an area that I would need to work on. It's kind of like when you're in a speech session and you've got your targets for that session, and all of a sudden the. The, the child that you're working with says something that you're like, oh my gosh, I didn't realize that we're gonna, there's another goal. Here's a future goal here. This is something that we need to work on. I, I wasn't tracking this, or this didn't pop up before, so you write it down. Right. And it's like, okay, I will target this future target, but maybe not right now. And that's okay. So you get to decide between the two. Okay. So once you do that, it lightens the mental load, but you're still then kind of stuck with this peace aspect or this piece of your life that is not working. And what I have found is that that gap between the awareness. Like, we're in this, you can't see me right now because I'm the podcast, but we're like in this place of like, awareness. I'm aware of the problem and I have a desire to change it. I'm not notice, I'm not saying fix it, but I have a desire to change it. I wanna do something about it. So we're, we're here, but the, the gap between that spot and then being able to actually take action, and I realize I just said actually take action, but the being then in, in motion. In action actually. Actually implementing those things, taking those steps, that is a big gap. It's a really big gap, and that's the piece that I find so fascinating. And this is human, right? This is, this is, I see this in my personal life all the time and coach on this with clients because change is hard. Change is hard, especially if where you're at right now is. Uncomfortable and it's costing you, you know, maybe you're feel it's costing you energetically and maybe physically, maybe it's costing you mentally or emotionally, so you are taxed and then you're trying to implement change, right? Or in order to implement change, it's going to require something different from you. It's gonna require, in many cases, something more upfront. Because now you, you are disrupting your pattern. You're trying something different. So there's gonna be a, a, a heavier load there, right? And that's, that's difficult because you're already tired, you're already overwhelmed, you're already stretched thin. So if you're looking at that gap, we're wasting our energy. We need to, to micro gap it, we need to go down to the next step. Right, because guess what? Where you're at right now is already hard. Where you're at right now is already painful or tense or uncomfortable or misaligned. Fill in the blank. It's not working for you. So you can stay in discomfort and not have any progress, or you could move through the discomfort towards something. Better for you, right? Towards something that is, that you have decided is something you want, something, you need something, you wanna create something in service of you. I don't know about you, but I in most cases, if that discomfort in, in that place is strong enough. FI know that the fastest way to get out of that discomfort is to put is to. Propel forward is to figure out how to solve it, is to move through it. So even though it is, there's a high energetic cost in theory of making those changes, the cost of staying stuck is real. It is costing you something to stay there. And it's one of the questions that I'll often ask myself, or I'll ask this with coaching clients, like, what is this costing you right now? Not just the amount of time. That's okay. We can, we can look at that, but what else is this costing? What are the ways that it's costing you? And then what do you wanna do about it? And you don't have to have the full plan, you just have to have the next step. You just have to have one next step. So instead of looking at the whole gap, instead of looking at the top of the mountain, look at the next step. Right? Look at what that next step is. So, and if you want help with this, I will place a link in the show notes to book a free consult. This is exactly what we do in coaching, so I'd be happy to walk you through it, partner with you, help you figure out what that next step is and how you're gonna take it. You can always book a call. Alright, I hope this was helpful. That's it for this episode. I will talk to you all later.