126. From SLP to ADHD Coach: My Diagnosis Story & What I Had to Unlearn

What if everything you thought made you neurotypical -- your grades, your planner obsession, your ability to hold it all together -- was actually just one big coping strategy?

In this episode, I’m sharing my personal journey of being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and how it impacted the way I see myself. From “Most Studious” (seriously, that was my senior superlative 😂) to “Wait, what do you mean executive dysfunction?”— I’ll walk you through the emotional (and professional) shift that happened when I stopped minimizing my diagnosis and started owning it. Spoiler: it changed the way I coach, the clients I attract, and how I show up in my business. And it can do the same for you. 

If you've been diagnosed with ADHD, suspect that you have ADHD, or find yourself busting your ass 24/7 to get it "all" done, this one's for you. 

PLUS--there’s a little announcement inside this one, too. 

In This Episode:

• I share the unexpected signs of ADHD that hid in my color‑coded notes, planners, and overachieving tendencies.
• I’ll show you how cognitive dissonance shows up when your identity ("I’m productive!") doesn’t match your brain’s wiring.
• We’ll talk about how executive functioning challenges sneak into every corner of your work and home life—and what to do with that awareness.
• I break down why masking is so common in high‑achieving SLPs (and how to spot it in yourself).
• I explain what changes when you finally stop tiptoeing around your neurodivergence and start owning it.

If This Resonates…

If this episode hit home—or struck a nerve—I’d love to talk with you. Book a free consult and let’s take a look at how ADHD is showing up in your work-life balance, your energy, and the way your days actually unfold.

And keep an eye out for the upcoming webinar where I’m diving deeper into why traditional time‑management advice doesn’t work for ADHD brains—and what does.

Resources & Links

📌 Book a free 1:1 consult here

👥 Join the SLP Support Group on FB here

Keywords

ADHD adult diagnosis, executive functioning challenges, overwhelmed SLP, neurodivergent SLP, productivity with ADHD, masking ADHD, ADHD time management

Progress over perfection, always.

To find out how I can help you improve your work-life balance, click here.

Come join the SLP Support Group on Facebook for more tips and tricks!

Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.

Transcript

 Hello podcast listeners. Welcome to episode 126.

Deep breath. I am taking a deep breath for regulation because today I am recording an episode about my experience, my sort of journey. With a DHD and the purpose of this episode is not to, for, it's not it, this episode is not to, to support me and I, I'm saying this out loud because I think that I have the tendency as a verbal processor, I process information by talking it through out loud.

Sometimes that can get me a little bit stuck in my own sort of benefit, my own value, like working through things on my own. And the purpose of this episode is really to give you one example, my one experience of A DHD and how this might. Relate to you and your experience. Maybe this helps you feel validated.

Maybe this helps you feel curious. Maybe this gives you a better understanding of A DHD. Maybe this gives you a better understanding of coaching. So I want you to really think about what you can get out of this episode, whether you have a DHD or not. I also think that this episode is, I'm gonna be mentioning something.

Just sharing a little announcement later on in this episode. So there's that. It's relevant, um, but it's also a way for me to, for you to better get, get a better understanding of me and who I am and, and, and what I do and how I can help, and if this is something. This coaching, this information, this content is something that could be helpful for you.

So I think it's important that I share a little bit more of the personal stuff and I definitely avoid, I have avoided mom, not avoided this topic, but I have delayed, I have delayed this topic. I've had this topic in mind for a while, and I have said later, later, later, and now is later. So I'm gonna share my own personal journey, how it might.

Connect to you and your journey and really just challenge some of your perceptions, misperceptions, understandings of A DHD as an adult and as an adult, SLP. Okay, so backstory, I was voted, I'm laughing. I in high school was voted most studious. Okay. That was my senior superlative, most studious. And they weren't wrong.

I mean, I definitely had the characteristics of someone who was, uh, studious. It took her studies seriously. I, I definitely was conscientious, I was attentive to detail. I was working. Really hard and very focused to get grades. Get grades, really. I mean, it was partly about the learning. Now it's a lot more about the learning, but then quite frankly, it was about, it was results oriented.

So like looking at what the grade was going to be, and this is important if you are somebody who focuses on. What is going to be the outcome of this task? How is this task going to be perceived by others? Is this task going to meet expectations? Right? If those are the pieces that get you stuck, you are like, I was where I was.

Going through the motions, doing the tasks for the grade, for the stamp of approval, for the confirmation and the validation and maybe security. I don't know. Right. There was also, there were, yes, some certain, some courses, some topics that I was interested in and I definitely, when I was interested, you know, there was a different, a bit of a different approach, but when I wasn't interested.

Or when I was less interested. And this shifted too towards, you know, once it got into grads, undergrad and grad. But for me it was very much like, what is going to be the result? Is this going to be meet expectations? Is this gonna be, you know, meet approval, approval ratings? And I didn't know. I didn't know that.

Others weren't working this hard to do the things that I was doing. Now, I knew that not everyone was most studious, right? Like I, I, I recognized that. But when it came say to like studying for a test, I would write everything out. I would color code. Things and highlight things and, you know, do all these different like, uh, organization techniques on the paper to make the information clear and stand out and sep, you know, separate from one another to help my brain process and retain it.

These were things that. I learn now I'm realizing I did as compensatory strategies. Truly. I think that they were, I remember there was one course in school that, that was called Study Skills. And this is the stuff that we were taught. We were taught how to outline, how to make an outline. We were taught how to take notes in class.

We were taught how to different like strategies for highlighting and um, like all these different really practical, useful. Tips, and I loved that class because it was so helpful. I still remember that class. I still will sometimes find myself like using some of the stuff that, that she taught us in that class, and it was so helpful.

I didn't know that. I don't know if she knew it. I don't know if she, if this, this is way back before like a DHD was. A, a, a topic, a talking point as, as you know, common as it is now. So anyway, worked hard, very studious, took lots of notes, yada, yada, yada. Right? To me, that didn't correlate with a DHD Like to me, I always thought of a DHD as like the hyperactive 8-year-old boy that's bouncing off the walls.

Okay. I. Was the, like the studious student, right? The, the, the one with the quote unquote good grades and the color coded notes, right? And the planner, that's not A-D-H-D-A-D-H-D is the aerial bouncing off the walls. Well, fast forward to when I, and started making the shift from co, I'm sorry, from speech and my private practice into coaching and learning about the coaching, the field of coaching, what it is and and techniques and all of that.

And the program that I went to was heavily, the training program that I went through and certification program was heavily focused on executive functioning skills, executive functioning skills, and A DHD neurodivergence. So I was thinking to myself, well, I know about executive functioning, I'm an SLP, right?

I, I'm sure, like, I surely I will know this information. And when I got into the course, like when the course got underway, I realized how little I, I knew, I realized how much I thought I knew that was. Inaccurate or just mis, you know, misconceptions or outdated. I gained such a deeper, stronger, broader understanding of A DHD, current diagnostic criteria and, um, current, uh, research-based practices with A DHD treatment.

Medication and coaching executive functioning skills. I, I just, I, my mind was like, wow. Oh my gosh. Okay. Now as I learned more about it, I started to realize that what I pictured when I thought of a DHD was not, was, was not accurate. It's not the 8-year-old boy that's bouncing off the walls. It's much, much broader than that.

It's much more colorful than that. And as I started listening to the, to the, to the different characteristics and and tendencies and the research around the executive functioning skills for neurodivergent brains and where the breakdowns occur and, and, you know, all those things, I was like. Wait, wait. So you're saying that it's not quote unquote typical to plan out your day, plan out maybe your whatever, but never actually follow through with the plan until the last possible second and then decide to start the task and get it done.

Wait, so you are telling me that it's not like neurotypical to. Put so much stress and emphasis on tasks and really like increase the stakes. On certain tasks and have them mean so much, put so much pressure on myself and then go, go, go. And then burnout. Like that's not typical. That's not, that's not a neurotypical brain.

I thought a DHD meant you couldn't focus, so you're telling me like I'm focused. Focus, focus, focus. Hyper focus, come to find out on certain things, and when I didn't have the motivation or the interest in the topics, I had to work extra hard to create that motivation and to help myself process and retain the information, right?

Hence all those study skills that I was using. So long story short. Ultimately, I was diagnosed as an adult with A DHD, and there was a period of time after that diagnosis that I didn't disclose. Like I didn't talk about it, I didn't mention it, talked about it with like my husband, but like we, I just, it was not maybe, you know, eventually like.

A couple of close friends, but it really was like this thing where I was like, well, I don't think anyone's gonna believe me, because remember, I'm most studious. I've got all the color coded organizers. Like, that's not a DHD, right? Well, again, I could plan. I love to plan, I could plan, plan, plan, plan, plan, plan, but never execute.

Not actually follow through with the plan, the, the amount of effort and work and motivation that it would take to get into action. Yeah, huge, huge challenge. Task initiation, executive functioning, so it's not that. The, it's not that people, you know, the, the people or like the, the, the thought that I had of people won't believe me wasn't because it wasn't true.

It was because they, most people misunderstand what A DHD is and what it looks like. And now as I've learned, I think what, like the awareness that I have now is. The reason why, excuse me, the reason why I'm ready to talk about it now, I think I'm just noticing through talking this through is because I have learned more and more and more, so I feel more and more, um, validated or it, it feels, I feel more and more confident and secure in like, yes.

This is a DHD and here is how it is. And, and there's less doubt than ever before where there, there's probably some level of doubt that I was like struggling with. So what I want for you as you are listening to this episode, is to think about. What your definition is or what your, like, your picture is of neurodivergence of A DHD because for me it was like this cognitive dissonance.

It was, you're telling me the doc, you know, the doctor's telling me Yes. A DHD. And then in my mind, I'm the most Judas, best planning student. Right? So there's a, there's a. There's some tension there. There. That's what we call cognitive dissonance. It's like these two sort of truths or beliefs or perspectives that don't agree, they conflict with one another.

Right. And it's like, how could I be so productive though when I have a DHD? Because I tend to think I, I'm a relatively productive person. I get a lot done right? Again, myth myths of A DHD, misunderstandings of A DHD. So when I started to understand how everything that we do involves executive functioning skills, and since A DHD

is associated with the. Im negatively impacted or impaired or weaknesses. Differences is really the word I like to use, but the, these differences in the executive functioning skills. So we know A DHD means differences in executive functioning skills. Everything we do requires executive functioning skills.

We're living in a quote unquote neurotypical world where the, the norms, the rules are developed, are created by neurotypical brains. So doesn't it make sense that a DHD could affect every area of your life? Like in theory, could it affect everything that you do? And I don't say that to be, what's the word?

What is the word? Oh my gosh. I'm having word retrieval issues again, but I'm not trying to be, um, dramatic melodramatic here, and I'm, I'm not trying to be also, I'm not trying to be like gloom or doom. Just we're having these, probably having these struggles. Throughout our day, whether we realize it or not.

And one of the first steps in being able to manage the A DHD is being able to recognize it. And so, so many of the SLPs that I work with as a coach now as I have become a, a coach in this area, so many of, so much of our work together with my clients, our work is about where is the A DHD showing up. Like what pieces of this are related to executive functioning breakdowns?

And guess what? You all as SLPs or and related providers, you are coming in with some knowledge of executive functioning skills more than probably the average Joe, right now. I, I just spent so much time telling you how I had a limited understanding and so there, yes, there may be. You too may have a limited understanding, but you have requisite knowledge here.

So we are like, we're already the, the wheels are greased. Like we're already in motion to being able to understand this and if we understand it, then to be able to respond in a way that's going to be effective for you. So looking at how. Does the A DHD show up here, how does the A DHD show up when you're writing a report or trying to write a report?

How is the A DHD showing up in your relationships with your colleagues? How is the A DHD showing up in your, on your calendar? How is it showing up in your energy? Like how is it showing up in your anything? Absolutely. Anything. So looking at how it's showing up and what are the executive. Challenges, the executive functioning challenges that are showing up here and what can we do about them, right?

So once you start processing and sort of. Stepping into this place of acceptance, which is like where I am now in terms of like, okay, yes, this is valid for me. I see how this is true. I feel confident and secure in this diagnosis. It does not matter if anyone else does. That does not matter because I do, and that that's all I need, right?

And so I know how my brain operates and I am the only one who can make these shifts to make things easier. No one else can do that for me, I have to own it. I have to own it personally. I have to own it professionally. And once you start accepting it and owning it, you start to see it everywhere in your work.

And again, I said that a minute ago and I said, I'm not trying to be melodramatic or gloom and doom. This is actually good news because it can lead to more awareness, more acceptance. It's like, oh, I am not lazy. This is a neurodivergence happening here. This is not me procrastinating the, this is me stuck in paralysis.

This is not me having a temper tantrum and acting like a child. This is me and this is my nervous system having trouble emotionally regulating, so it. It gives you an explanation. It's not an excuse, it's an explanation. So it gives you an explanation and gives you a better understanding of what's happening.

Right. And so now that we, number one, can accept it and we start seeing it in all the places that that can continues to build our acceptance. Yes. And it creates opportunities for us to work on it. It creates opportunities for us to try something different. And so when I started pointing that out to coaching clients and started, you know, breaking it down like, okay, what are the executive functioning skills here?

How do you think your A DHD is showing up here? Right? That started to just unlock this. This approach, this, this awareness, this understanding of what we could do of different ways that we could look at it, different ways that we could assign meaning to it. Change your self concept, change the way that you see yourself.

Like hear, hello, me, type A I'm Type A, A, D, H, D, like, and I always used to say, well, I'm kind of type A. On the surface, but like really behind closed doors, I'm Type B. So it, it was just this, like me, my view, my perspective was I had this sort of story that I was a hard worker who was super organized and, you know, always figured it out.

Like always got it done right. That was just a. Perspective. That was just a way that I saw myself. But if I had been paying attention or aware of like the inner monologue, what was happening internally in order to show up like that externally, the talk about cognitive dissonance right there would've been a big difference between that identity and the one that was like showing up on the outside.

Some people with A DHD, especially some pe, some people with A DHD, whether it's diagnosed or not even are masking. And one of the things that I have learned is that the masking can show up even in places where. You are convinced that it is not masking, it is you just being you and being dedicated or being committed, or really trying.

Right. Um, I have, I have discovered that as well. Like this is where. The masking can be very sneaky and can show up different ways and in different places. And so trying to identify those moments too, just to have a better understanding of what's happening. So for my clients who I coach, most of whom I'm just thinking, is it all, well, we'll just say many of whom, most of whom have a DHD, or suspect that they have a DH.

D. Are starting to view their tasks, the sort of things on their plate, so to speak, through a different lens. And now that we've changed the way we're looking at it, we can change the way we're approaching it. We can change the, the actions that you wanna take. And we can do this from a place that's a little bit more authentic, a little bit more accurate.

Because when you stop masking and you are just showing up as your authentic self, as your brain is, just however your brain is braining, like however it is functioning or lack thereof, right? If. You have to show up authentically in order to be able to implement strategies that are going to be effective.

And so the longer you try to tiptoe around it or mask it, the longer you're delaying change, the longer you'll stay in this place of fight flight Fawn or. You know, constant work, work, work, work, work, burnout, whatever the pattern is and looks like for you, it can't change until you start to take off that mask, start to broaden your understanding and awareness of what's happening, and start to step, step into, or step towards acceptance.

If anyone can do this, it's us. It's us as SLPs. I mean, this is what we do for our clients. This is what we do with our clients. Talk about, you know, life imitating art, right? Meta we create change with our clients. We help them, we set, we help them and work with them and set goals. We work towards those goals.

We support them. Whether you work in a hospital setting or a school setting, or a private practice or whatever setting you work in. We are change makers. We're making change. We do it for other people. We give our clients so much grace and understanding and then. We've got none of it for us and for ourselves.

Well, no wonder it's hard to make change. It's hard to make change from that place. Right. If you started showing up for your clients and treating your clients the way you treat yourself, what would that look like? Right. I mean, it's sort of like that golden rule of treat others how you want to be treated Well.

What if you treat yourself, how you treat others? Yeah. What would that look like? Alright, so I told you that I had a, a sort of announcement, a related announcement that I wanted to share, just some news that I wanted to share. And it is very much about this topic. So if this topic is resonating, if this is hitting home or hitting a nerve.

You are gonna definitely want to attend the upcoming webinar that I'm gonna be hosting where I'm gonna be talking about this, but I'm gonna be going into more detail about how the traditional time management strategies and productivity strategies that we hear all the time. Don't work for us. And why?

Okay, so if this is something that you're struggling with, make sure that you stay tuned. I don't have a date and time yet for the webinar, but I'll, I will be updating the podcast and I'll be updating the SLP support group on Facebook as those details get teased out. So. Make sure you pay attention. Stay tuned for that.

And if this topic, again, is something that you really relate to or you wanna learn more about and how this can work for you, book a call. I would love to talk with you. I would love to talk you through how your A DHD is showing up, how your brain is processing information and how that's affecting your.

Version or vision of work-life balance. 'cause that's really what this is all about. It's about creating that space and that peace to feel comfortable in how you're spending your time and to be able to enjoy it. Whether you're spending your time. Doing things for work or spending your time on all of the things outside of work that exist that we want more of, but we just can't quite seem to figure out how to do or how to do guilt free.

So that link is always in the show notes, book a call. Happy to talk you through it. That is it for this episode. I will talk with you all soon. Bye.