127. 10 Things I Wish Every SLP Knew

In today's episode, I’m unpacking 10 things I deeply wish every SLP knew…the stuff people don’t always say out loud. Some of these might feel validating. Some might poke at you a little. All of them are meant to help you get your time, energy, and confidence back.

And if anything in this episode hits home, make sure you grab your seat for my free webinar on December 16 at 8 PM EST: Work-Life Balance for SLPs with ADHD. You’ll walk away understanding why traditional time management strategies haven't worked for you and what to do instead. You don’t have to show up live, but you do need to get on the list to get the replay. 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why “yes” is not your job description -- and how to choose the yeses that actually serve you.
• How to define what a “good SLP” really means (and why your default definition is probably perfectionism in disguise).
• The role your values play in burnout, fulfillment, and friction at work -- and what misalignment really looks like.
• Why work-life balance isn’t a setting…it’s a skill (and yes, you can learn it).
• The truth about your thoughts, emotions, and burnout cycle -- especially if you have ADHD.
• Why rest is not optional and the real reason you keep burning yourself out.

If This Resonates…

If you were nodding along (or wincing a little), I’d love to help you work through this in coaching.

I’ve got one spot left on my caseload, and this is exactly the kind of work I do with my clients, especially neurodivergent SLPs navigating executive function overload.

If you’re curious whether coaching is a good fit, book a free consult. We’ll talk about what’s going on, what you want, and how I can support you.

Resources & Links
📌 Book a free 1:1 consult → https://cutt.ly/KtwII93a
👥 Join the FB Group → SLP Support Group

Keywords
SLP burnout, overwhelmed SLP, ADHD time management, executive functioning for SLPs, SLP boundaries, neurodivergent productivity, work-life balance for SLPs, ADHD coaching

Progress over perfection, always.

To find out how I can help you improve your work-life balance, click here.

Come join the SLP Support Group on Facebook for more tips and tricks!

Learn more about Theresa Harp Coaching here.

Transcript

 Hey SLPs, welcome back to the podcast. This is episode 127 and it's gonna be a fun one. I am talking about the 10 things, not the 10, but 10 of the things that I wish every SLP knew, and I gotta be honest. A lot of these are things that other people probably are not telling you, whether they. Realize it and they just are afraid to say it or maybe they don't even realize it.

So I'm curious, as you're listening to these, which of these 10 hits home for you? Which of them, which of these 10 are things that. Maybe you've never considered or that maybe contradicts or conflicts with some of your own beliefs or perspectives about things. Okay, but before I dive into these 10 things, I just want to give you a heads up that I am hosting a free webinar on Tuesday, December 16th at 8:00 PM Eastern.

I'll include the details in the show notes, but if this topic. Or any topics of the podcast have resonated with you, you're gonna wanna make sure that you sign up for the reg, uh, for the webinar. You don't have to be there live. There will be a recording. I know December gets a little bit hectic, so don't worry about necessarily needing to be there live, but it is going to cover a topic that I haven't really covered before in some of the past webinars that I've done.

It's all about what doesn't work. The time management tips and the productivity tips that don't work for your brain, your A DHD brain, and what does, so I'm gonna be covering that. Again, December 16th. There will be more details to follow, sign up and all of that, but make sure you click the link in the show notes so that you can get any updates about that webinar so that you don't miss it.

Trust me when I say it's gonna be a good one. Alright, 10 things that I wish every SLP knew. These are in no particular order, but here we go. Number one, I wish that SLPs knew. I wish that you knew that saying yes to things does not make you a good SLP. In reality, it leaves you exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked, and in some cases resentful.

Right. Especially if task initiation or working memory are hard for you, your yes can become somebody else's shortcut, but your overload, your cognitive overload. So many of us automatically say yes to things without pausing and even evaluating. The request. We think that if somebody asks us to do something, a family that we serve, or a another teacher in the school where we work, or our supervisor or administration, right?

Maybe it's an employee. Maybe you're a private practice owner and it's one of your employees. I hope that, you know, you don't have to say yes to all your employees. I think we know that, but saying yes. Is not a requirement. You don't have to say yes, you actually get a vote. You actually get to decide what you wanna say yes and no to.

We have this belief so many of us as SLPs in our field, we have this belief that if we don't say yes, if we say no, it means I'm not a team player. It's gonna reflect poorly on my work and on my, you know, work performance ratings. It means that I don't value the work that I do. It means that this isn't important to me.

Fill in the blanks, right? So saying yes to things does not make you a good SLP. Now, I'm not telling you that you can never say yes. I'm not telling you. You have to say no to everything. So notice if your brain starts offering you, it goes in, if it goes in that direction and all or nothing thinking, catch that.

Notice that that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that you get to choose your yeses. That saying yes isn't what's gonna make you a good SLP. So if you are saying yes to things because you want to impress somebody or control how somebody sees you or what somebody thinks of you, that is a yes that you need to think about a little bit more carefully.

Okay? And number two, on a very similar note. Number two, I wish that SLPs knew that. You get to decide what makes a good SLP. You need to define your own version of this. If you don't define this, you brain will continue to default to perfectionism because you've got this, this vague idea in your mind. Of a good SLP.

Does this, does this, does this, does this, does this. But you haven't defined what the, this, this, this, this, this is. Maybe you have thoughts of what those things are, but you haven't even stopped to consider if you truly believe that if those, those factors, those characteristics actually align with you.

Think about this. I can think of, I could have a room full of a hundred SLPs who could be incredibly skilled. At their job, and they could have very different strengths and they could have very different, I, I don't wanna say weaknesses, but areas where they, they are not. Excelling in, and that is a good thing.

If those areas that they're not excelling in are the things that they've decided don't matter as much to them as some of the other areas, then they're practicing restraint. They're focusing on what matters most to them, just because you think that. In order to be a good SLP, you have to accommodate everybody else's schedule.

Doesn't mean that every other SLP feels that way, and we look around and we compare ourselves to the other people around us without any idea of what framework they are operating under. Okay, so the next time you start to should on yourself, the next time you start to react and respond to anything and everything that pops up during your workday, without thinking first, I want you to pause and notice that get some clarity.

What matters most to you as an SLP. That's incredibly important. Once you get good at identifying that, then you can focus on the things that matter to you, and you can start to let go of other people's expectations. Which brings me to number three.

Some of you might be listening to this and thinking, well, that's really good, Theresa, but if I think that a good SLP gets to prioritize their sleep and start their day at 10:00 AM and my boss. Doesn't agree, then I may be out of a job. And so yes, heard, I understand. And that's where I am going next.

Number three. I wish that SLPs realized that their values and their employer's values might not match. Now, for those of you who own your own practice and that is your, that is your soul. You know, work is your business, your private practice, you. This still applies to you and here's why. You get to decide.

You get to decide what your values are for your business, and sometimes you are hiring contractors or employees whose values don't align with yours or employees or contractors who have no awareness of what your values are as the business, as the business owner. And so there's a mismatch there. And then you're confused why your staff or your team.

Isn't meeting your expectations, right? So I want you to look at that. But for those of you who are employed by somebody else, whether you work in a school or a hospital or a private practice, recognize that you know, go back to number two. Your definition, your version of a good SLP might not match your employers.

This is not necessarily a problem. It's definitely a problem if you're not aware of it, but it's not necessarily a problem, but it does need to be addressed because a mismatch or a misalignment in priorities and values. Is what creates that internal friction. So, for example, when your job, like when your employer values productivity, meaning sessions, and we want the clients to be seen, we want the patients to be seen.

We wanna make sure that if there's a cancellation, we're making it up. We're offering them makeups. You know, if your employer values productivity and you value connection. And you're in your session connecting with a client, and you don't wanna end the session and disrupt that connection because you're in a really great breakthrough moment, or you're having a really emotional, or you know, important conversation and you're valuing that connection, you're not gonna wanna end that session.

You're gonna run over, you're gonna be late. You're going to then be late for the next session, and now your employer is seeing that you're not meeting productivity standards or productivity expectations. So this isn't necessarily that you are a bad SLP, this is that your employers values and definition of good SLP.

Is different from your own. And what I work with my coaching clients a lot on is figuring out what are your values as an SLP? What matters most to you so that you can lay your head on your pillow at night and feel good about the work that you've done. What are the values and priorities where you work and where is the overlap there?

Where is the overlap there? And in many cases, we can find an overlap in a happy medium and figure that out. In some cases though, the, the mismatch between the two is so great that it requires, you know, a cost or sacrifice from you as the SLP that you might not be willing to make, and that you have to make a decision about what you wanna do about that.

Okay. So I don't know who needed to hear that, but I know it's somebody. All right, number four. Here's another truth that I wish you knew. Here is another truth that I wish you knew. Whew, this is a good one. I wish you knew that work life balance isn't all about the setting in which you work. I see so many posts in the different.

Facebook groups. I mean, I guess I'm old. I'm on Facebook. I guess I realize now not everyone's there, but I'm in, I'm in the Facebook groups and I see posts all the time and well-intentioned. I'm not, this is not, this is not me judging. Okay. I wanna be super clear about this. This is not me judging. This is me noticing and pointing out to you.

What are some of the limitations of like, what are your perspectives and then what are the limitations of those perspectives? So I see lots of posts about what is the best setting for work life balance, or what's the best setting to not bring work home with you or you know, if I, I'm going, I just had a baby and I'm going back to work, or I need to get back to work, but I wanna choose, I wanna choose a job that's going to.

Allow me to leave work at work and come home at these hours, blah, blah, blah. Because I wanna feel, I wanna feel balanced or I wanna, I wanna have some work-life balance. Now, I'm not saying that's wrong. I think it's really important and really. Effective to be looking at these things, to be asking questions or to be considering how you can prioritize work-life balance.

But, but so many SLPs think that if I just choose the right setting, my work-life balance problems will be solved. And in most cases, that is not true. In order to have your version of work-life balance, and I, I recognize the limitations of that term and that concept, and that's not, I'm not going there today, so just use that.

I use that phrase loosely. Okay. Whatever you define as worklife, balance, work-life balance doesn't come from our external circumstances. Those external circumstances can affect it. Sure, but the work-life balance that you're craving, that you're seeking has to come from within real balance comes from learning how to regulate your energy, how to create boundaries and hold them right.

How to figure out how to take care of yourself and take care of your job at the same time, recognizing. What you need from a position and what you need in your home in order to feel centered and fulfilled. Those things have to happen from within because I gotta tell you, work life balance. If you choose a job that gets you home at three o'clock in the afternoon so that you can be on your kid's schedule and you expect that, that is going to solve for.

The work life balance, most of you are going to be disappointed when you find yourselves at home after hours. Thinking about work, stressing about work, thinking about the things you didn't get to do before you left the office or, you know, your, your, your job. Thinking about what is coming, you know, what evaluations you have ahead, what IEP meetings you have ahead, and feeling suffocated when you're trying to be home and present with your family.

Internally, you're thinking about all the things that you didn't do and that you need to do, and the places that you fell short, right? That comes from within. We can't strategize. We can't strategize that or change that just by changing positions. Okay, so that might be a harsh one. A harsh truth. By the way, if you disagree with me, that's okay too.

That's okay too. Notice that and, and look at that. And I, the, my, these are my thoughts. These are my perspectives. These are my truths. They don't have to be yours. But if you find yourself struggling with certain things that we talk about on this podcast, I would encourage you to just consider how what I'm saying might be true for you.

Which brings me to my next truth. Not every thought you think is true. Oh my gosh. I can't tell you what changed for me when I discovered and learned that I don't have to believe everything, I think. My brain is gonna have a million thoughts a day, and I could try to, what I used to do is try to stuff them down, shove them out, avoid them.

Uh, I might notice them and I might feel, uh, guilty, or I might judge myself for those thoughts. I'm a terrible person. I can't believe I thought that, oh my gosh, what's wrong with me? I'm a terrible mom. I'm a terrible SLP. Oh my gosh. Right? Or I would be like, oh, I'd start to think of something that was upsetting or something that was bringing up some, some emotions that I didn't want to feel 'cause I didn't wanna feel them.

They're not fun to feel or I don't have time to feel them. I would just push them away, and I'm gonna get to that one in a second, so I'm gonna stay on track with this. But I want you to know that your brain's gonna offer you a bunch of thoughts and you don't have to believe them. And not only do you not have to believe them, you have to, if you want change, there is incredible benefit to noticing those thoughts and challenging them.

And that's what I do in coaching sessions with clients. That's exactly what we do in coaching, is we look at how do you view this situation? What do you believe is true and what else might be true? How might you be looking at this in a way that isn't serving you, that isn't supporting you? What might be another way of looking at this situation?

So looking at your thoughts and just recognizing if nothing else, if you take nothing else from this episode, if you just walk away with an understanding that we have thoughts in our mind and that they play an incredibly impactful role on how we feel, then that alone I think is incredibly valuable.

Okay. I'll warn you, once you notice, once you learn this and you notice it and you start noticing your thoughts even more, you're gonna, you're probably gonna want some support in figuring out like, well, what do I do with it now? I just have all these thoughts in my head that I used to be able to sort of think that I believe I could block them out, and now I'm aware of them and I don't even know what to do with all this.

That's a sign that coaching could be a really good service for you. Okay. Number six. I wish that SLPs knew that avoiding or stuffing down your emotions does not make you stronger, and it does not make you more productive. It makes you dysregulated. I did this for a very long time. I would notice that I would start to be feeling a certain way about something, and I would have this thought it was a recurring thought, it would pop in my head.

I don't have time for this. That thought pops in my head. It still pops in my head every once in a while. Not necessarily just about emotions, but I used to get upset about something. If I had a session with a client that didn't go well, if I messed something up. You know, I drop the ball. I would, I would feel that in my body, and I would feel stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, upset, disappointed, inadequate, um, you know, fill in the blanks.

And what I would often do is try to avoid those feelings by keeping myself busy. Sometimes I would avoid those feelings by eating something like, oh, I'm just gonna, I need to eat. Uh oh, a big bowl of ice cream. I need to eat some ice cream. Oh my gosh, I love a good bowl of ice cream, right? I'm gonna, this is gonna help me feel better.

Um, I'm just going to, I'm just not gonna think about that and I'm gonna go ahead and I'm just gonna focus on the next things that I have to get done. And, you know, this too shall pass. But what I didn't realize was I was trying to avoid something that could not be avoided. The longer you ignore your feelings, the louder they come out.

In the most destructive ways. Trust me. Trust me. I think that this is a lot of, um, this has a lot to do with a lot of patterns in our, in, in our life in terms of, you know, it leads to avoidance or it leads to buffering. With food, with alcohol, with drugs, right, with um, uh, risky behavior and, and choices that aren't healthy choices.

Um, it might lead to scrolling, right? And staying up really late and binge watching things because we just wanna zone out and not think and not feel. And the more we try to do that. The further we move away from the life that we wanna live, feeling fulfilled and happy. In order to have that, in order CR to create a work-life balance that's fulfilling that you feel really good about, you have to be willing to feel shitty.

Excuse my French. You have to be willing to feel it. And there are tools. That you can use. We do this in coaching. We have tools that you can use to feel those feelings and to move through them. And the more you practice this, the better you get at it and the quicker you're able to move through things in a much healthier way and a faster way that you get back to feeling the way that you want to feel.

Okay. Not all the time, but it's possible. Number seven. I wish that SLPs knew that your job doesn't have to feel hard. I wish we as a field believe this and knew that hard doesn't equal good or right or value. I used to think that this is a demanding job. And I'd invite you to question, notice your thoughts.

Right? Go back to number five. Notice your thoughts. What is your, what does your mind tell you about our field? It's wor it's impossible to have work-life balance as an SLP. Uh, maybe it's, uh, our field doesn't. Create. Um, our field doesn't care about SLPs, right? We don't care. Like, we don't care. Asha doesn't care about us.

Our field doesn't, doesn't care about SLPs. Our, our team or our administrators don't care about SLPs. They only care about PTs or OTs. Now, that might be true, but again, go back to number five. Not every thought you think is true, okay? But. We think that it's supposed to be hard. It has to be hard because that's what was modeled for us and that was the tone that was set.

Quite frankly, in school, and I've done episodes on this, I've talked about this before. It is, this is a, a deeper issue that goes beyond this podcast episode, but I used to think that if it felt hard, if I was working my ass off and I was working really hard, I was doing it right and that this is what I signed up for.

But that thought isn't truth. It's not fact. Okay. So if things are feeling hard for you and you are telling yourself that, that that's the way it has to be, 'cause this is what you signed up for, I want you to question that because. It is possible to do a really good job and be a quote, really good SLP, right?

Go back to number number two. It is possible to be a really good SLP and feel really good about your work without suffering. Process, and the only way that you're going to be able to create work life balance is if you confront this. If you confront this possibility or this belief, this thought error, that it has to be hard.

If it has to be hard, then work life balance is going to be outside of your reach. Okay? Number eight, these feed right into each other. I don't know how. I don't know how that worked out. Usually it's not. I'm usually all over the place. I'm still all over the place, but these really are flowing people. I hope you appreciate this.

Number eight. I wish SLPs knew that it is possible to love your work as an SLP and love your life. It is possible to have a personal life outside of work, and it is possible to enjoy being an SLP. Maybe not every single part of it, but who does, right? Who enjoys every single part of every single thing?

Nobody. It is possible to have an overall net positive experience at work and an overall net positive experience in your personal life, and have those things together at the same time. You don't have to choose one or the other. You don't have to choose to be a good SLP or a good mom or a good spouse.

You don't have to make that choice. It is possible to have both, especially for those who are. Have a DHD or suspect that you do, it may feel like you're constantly falling short, right? You might have that negative self-talk that's telling you you're constantly falling short and you're terrible in both, right?

But with the right supports and strategies in place, you can absolutely build a career rhythm that honors your, your brain, the way that your brain works and honors your vision and definition. A good SLP and a fulfilling personal life. You don't have to have one at the expense of the other. Okay? So I don't know who needed to hear that, but that is something I wish every SLP knew.

Number nine, burnout starts from your thoughts. It starts from what you tell yourself it's happening and it's created from within, not necessarily from outside of you. We think that burnout comes from staying up really late, working late hours, long hours, not taking breaks, neglecting self-care, uh, you know, not.

Having too many things on your plate, right, like being overscheduled, having more tasks and work that you can do in the amount of time available, or we think that it's because we don't have a good system in place and a good planner, the right planner, the right calendar, or the right tool. And so until we figure that out, we're just gonna be stuck in this cycle of burnout.

But I want you to think about this. You can't out strategize or out plan your inner critic, your self judgment, right? And dare I say that most of the time, it is that inner self critic that is creating the action of overworking, staying late, sacrificing sleep. Those decisions, those actions come in a big part from the way the things that you believe and the way that you think, the things that you tell yourself, the way that you see the world.

Okay? So if you think that you just have to find the right setting, like I said, the right setting or the right planner or the right strategy to solve for burnout. You're going to be mistaken because it is. It is a thought pattern. It is a mindset that we create. I can create. I am really good at this. My mind is really good at creating stress where there doesn't need to be any or magnifying the stress to a level beyond what it needs to be.

I'm so good at that. If I don't. If things feel easy, I'm looking around like, oh my gosh, something's wrong. I've forgotten something. Something something's gone wrong here. Right? I used to then operate under the, under that belief and then start spiraling and finding things to stress out about, creating more work, overworking, overcompensating, spending more time in an evaluation report than I needed to.

A lot of that as I've come to discover is related to A DHD and y'all. I have a podcast episode that's coming out. I think it's gonna be the episode after this one that's related to A DHD Truths, 10 A DHD truths that have completely changed the way that I live, like the way that I work. So if any of this stuff is resonating, especially if you have a DHD or think that you do, make sure that you keep an eye out for that episode.

I believe it's going to be the one that comes, that airs after this one. Okay, so executive functioning overload. Right? Guilt, negative self-talk. All of those things are just a recipe for burnout. So yes, time management is helpful. Yes, there are nice strategies that we can put in place, but mindset management is what's essential, and this is what we do in coaching.

We do the strategy plus the mindset. All right, last but not least, number 10, if you're still with me. Number 10. The 10th thing that I wish every SLP knew is that rest is not a reward. It is a requirement. Not only is it a requirement, it is a responsibility. If you keep waiting until you deserve a break, until you've earned your break, you will never take it because the to-do list never ends.

Okay? Hate to break it to you. If you, if you are under the misconception that your to-do list is going to be done and you're gonna feel great, well, I, I, I'm sorry. But that to-do, to-do list never ends. So. You need to build in the, the breaks, the rest for yourself. It is a productivity strategy. Rest is productive.

It helps you, it fuels you to do the things that you want and need and love to do. And here's the thing, if you're neurodivergent, you're probably missing the signs of fatigue. You're probably, your body is, they're, they're there, but they're subtle. Until they're glaringly obvious in your face, like cannot ignore it.

'cause I can't move my neck or open up my jaw right until it's in your face loud. You're gonna miss it or you're going to maybe notice it and ignore it. And then by the time you're feeling it and aware of it, it is too late. It is too late. And that's how we get stuck in that sort of burnout cycle. Go, go, go, go, go.

Burnout. Paralysis. Can't do anything, feel anxious about what's not getting done. Finally get back into action and have to go, go, go, go, go to make up for lost time and the cycle continues. Right? So rest is a responsibility. It is a requirement. It is a right. Its not something that you have to earn. Okay? I hope that these were helpful, and if any of them made you pause or hit a nerve, notice that Good, good.

Notice it. The pause. That's where the opportunity for growing and learning is most of us are just running around on default mode, reacting and playing whack-a-mole, especially for those of us with neurodivergent brains. Am I right? But the awareness is how we get back into the driver's seat and start being in control.

Of our time. Okay. One kind of takeaway that I'm gonna leave with you because I threw a whole lot out at you, and I don't want you to feel like you need to now confront all of these 10 things and start changing absolutely everything in your life. No, no, no. Pick the one, the one that either feels the closest to where you're at right now, and like, oh yeah, I, I could see how that would be true.

Pick that one and start, let, start incorporating that or let that be your lens for the week, or pick the one that was the hardest hitting for you, the one that really struck a nerve, and let that be your lens for this week. But either way, I hope that this is at least helping you to pause, to think, reflect, and really ask yourself.

What is the life that I want to create and am I creating it? And if not. What do I need to do to create it? Because no one else can do it for you. I can do it with you if you are looking for help. This is the work that I do with clients every day, especially for those who are navigating A DHD and executive functioning overload.

So if you wanna learn more about that, you want support with this, grab a free consult. I have one spot left, one opening left on my schedule. So I will, uh, leave the link in the show notes. If you wanna book a consult, it's free. I'll walk you through. What's going on with you, what you wanna work on, and how I can help.

Alright, that's it for this week's episode. It was a long one, but I hope it was a good one. I will talk with you Allall soon. Bye.